So I'm gonna watch the Godzilla movies

Well, this one was actually... Okay. Not good, but getting there. However, despite being short, there's a ton of plot points.

Anyway, it starts some guy and a few other guys stealing a boat because the guy's brother was lost at sea and he wants to look for him. So they set out to find the guy's brother.



Now, given that there's supposed to be a sea monster in this film, I'm not incredibly hopeful that this journey will go very well. Let's see what happens.



Didn't see that coming. But they all somehow survive and wash up on an island. They find a sword on this island. PLOT POINT.

This island also has a military base on it, run by some group called the Red Bamboo. The Red Bamboo are kidnapping people from Mothra Island to work as slaves, making some yellow liquid that keeps Ebirah away while they sail to and from the island. Oh yeah, Ebirah is the sea monster. This guy.



A Mothra Island girl escapes and meets up with the 4 guys and they hide out in a cave. And what do they find in this cave?



GODZILLA! Yeah... Somehow after falling into the sea at the end of the last film he's now underground on some island, somehow. Anyway, the group decide to sneak around the base. Somehow they outsmart an entire military instillation and get inside. Inside they find a factory that's... wait, what? If they have a factory, why are kidnapping people from another island to make stuff for them? That's just overly elaborate. But I digress. It's a nucleur factory making bombs.

While snooping, the girl picks up a a bundle of wire and puts it round her neck, because women are easily distracted by things that could possibly be decorative. PLOT POINT. The guys aren't happy though.



Yeah woman. We're not shopping. They get spotted and run away. Through a bizarre sequence of events, the guy that was looking for his brother ends up tied to a big balloon and floats away, and one other guy gets thrown in with the Islanders. The guy on the balloon just happens to float to Mothra Island, where his brother also happens to be.



Oh shit, not these two. I hate them. WHY ARE THEY SO SMALL? The guy and his brother set sail for the other island again to tell the other people to make a big net.

Meanwhile, to better escape the army, the remaining guys decide to wake Godzilla up. How? Get him struck by lightning using the sword as a lightning rod and the wire to electricute him! It could be a puzzle from an adventure game. So Godzilla wakes up, and what's the first thing he sees?



IT'S ON.



BIFF! ZAM! POW!

And then Ebirah runs away like a bitch. So now Godzilla is on the rampage. He gets the girl cornered while chasing those guys. Then he...



...sits down and goes to sleep. This is never explained. WHAT THE FUCK? Did they just need to pad out the run time or something? But suddenly...!



...what? Is that Rodan? Doesn't quite look like him. Too small as well. Well, whatever it is, it attacks Godzilla. For no reason. This bird has never been mentioned before in the film, and it's never mentioned again. It just comes out of fucking nowhere and fights Godzilla for a few minutes for no reason. I'm convinced they were just padding out the run time now.



Yeah, fuck you random giant bird. Godzilla proceeds to fuck shit up and wreck the place, so the army decides to set off a timed bomb and escape. But Ebirah wrecks their ship. And then...



Rematch time!



Haha, fuck you Ebirah! And that's pretty much it. Mothra comes and carries the people away before the island explodes. And Godzilla, since it's the end of Godzilla film, jumps into the fucking ocean.

AGAIN.