Halloween excitement: Kaio watches the Saw movies

Guys.

GUYS

I've never watched the Saw movies.

Now before you start cheering for me that I never watched torture porn extravaganzas, I'm going to dissappoint you. Because I'm bored and have a week off I'm going to watch this lowest common denominator shizzle. SHOCKINGLY, I actually didn't notice the Saw 4 topic until after I decided to do this.

YES

I'm super not excited for this, but I feel like watching a horror movie series and I'm still not over that Hellraiser movie from three years ago.

Now I more or less know the plot of Saw I (it involves a saw), I have no clue about the other movies. I know they get dirtier and shittier with every movie and the overarching plot is hilarious convoluted garbage. I'm clueless about the rest.

But I guess it can't be worse than Hellraiser.

The movie opens with a guy waking up in a bathtub not knowing what the hell is going on. We all know the feeling, brah.

(everybody watched this movie except me, but I'm still going to recap)

So these two dudes are in a bathroom together.

The pretty surgeon needs to kill the scumbag who he is locked in with. The scumbag also happens to be the screenwriter of the movie. META.

They find saws (ooooh) and they need to cut off their feet.

Then we get to the expostition with agents Too Old For This Shit and Miles from Lost.

We see a bunch of murders, but torture porn hadn't become a thing yet, so they're not gory.

We also see Benjamin Linus who is obviously evil and/or insane because he's Benjamin Linus.

I like how azn Riggs tries to make a traumatised girl relive what happened to her. That's a dick move.

Anyway she mutilates a guy (off-screen!) then Jigsaw comes in on his cute little bicycle.

The bathroom dudes find out they're being watched by Blatantly Ben Linus.

Kaio wrote:

We see a bunch of murders, but torture porn hadn't become a thing yet, so they're not gory.

I actually like Saw 1 because of this. It's not torture porn, it's two dudes trapped in a room with something nobody in their right mind would want to do being the only means of escape.

the plot really isn't all that convoluted, it might seem that way, because they start doing things you wouldn't think they do and there's so many flashbacks and i guess that gets people confused..

but in the end it's actually pretty simple and it all fits nicely together, or well, at least that's why I think of it..

The two agents get shooled hard by Jigsaw. Probably the most intense scenes yet.

The scumbag is a professional stalker and being paid by Danny Glover, the surgeon is a cheater. Shocking.

Saw 1 is genuinely a good movie. The rest... not so much.

Murtaugh is killed by Ben so his plot was entirely pointless.

Then the surgeon goes batshit insane, cuts off his foot and shoots the scumbag.

But the scumbag lives! And he kills Ben.

But Ben himself was being played!

Then the body gets up and he's the real Jigsaw!

Twist! Twist! Twist!

The end.

This was alright.

You know, I never really associated Saw with the whole "torture porn" thing. Despite the movies only getting worse and more graphic, I never found them distasteful in the same way as films like Hostel.

Except in Saw... 6, I think? I watched the last 3 movies close together and they're basically one long movie so it's all blurred together.

The first and second films I thought were both pretty good. yes, there some nasty scenes, but nothing I'd have said was needlessly gratuitous. The third film though, crossed the line in my opinion - some of the set pieces were hugely unpleasnat and it didn't have the relatively strong narrative of the first film to carry it. I saw a few moments of the fourth film and decided the franchise had run out of ideas.

I thought 3 was a bit better than 2. Saw 3 had nastier traps for sure, but it was at least focused on one character. Saw 2 had about 10 characters from what I remember.

Saw 1 was good, saw 2 was decent and maintained vaguely having a point. Saw 3 was

Spoiler:

Hostel isn't that distasteful... maybe the thing with the eye...

I've seen worse in movies..

Time for Saw 2 now.

The first dude dies because he's too pussy to cut out his eye.

I already hate the the main character and his son.

lol at the chick being in the game again.

Seriously I can't stop laughing at how much that sucks lmao.

Dude got burrrrrrned. He deserved it though.

This entire movie is like The Cube, but without a cube.

I'm actually somewhat engrossed in this. So ashamed of myself. =/