Kaio watches an Inspector Spacetime rip-off

Why? Because I hate myself.

I'll be skipping the first five episodes because I saw them a year ago and I can't handle watching them again.

Dalek - Series One, Episode Six

- I know Daleks are a big part of Who lore, so this should be an important episode
- OMG CYBERKING (?)
- We are introduced to a very stereotypical American. I like him.
- oh god laughing my ass of at this dalek
- EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE
- The Doctor destroyed the Daleks? I dunno, I sort of was too busy hollering to pay attention to the conversation
- oh the Doctor in bondage. Kinky
- The Doctor continues to reiterate that the Dalek is a Big Fucking Threat.
- The Dalek is powered up by Rose, who is a complete dumbshit.
- Some guy is literally suckered to death
- RIP Some Guy.
- Oh no! The Dalek has absorbed the internet!
- The Dalek kills people who laz0rz while apocalyptic music plays
- The Dalek is my favourite character btw
- lol at all everyone being terrified at the Dalek ELEVATING.
- Dalek shows more emotion than Rose. True story.
- Dalek has a boner for Rose. You can do better, son
- Rose says goodbye to the doctor and is viciously murdered slash dryhumped by Dalek
- Sigh.... if only...
- Dalek is having an existential crisis. Poor Dalek. =(
- Dalek just wants to go home get out
- D'awwww the machine just contains the most adorable little alien
- He wants to reenact the E.T. touching scene but Doctor Genocide puts a stop to it
- I hope future Daleks die quicker
- the kid I don't even remember the name of jumps on board at the last second. Great
- Next episode looks dumb

This episode was all kinds if ridiculous, but it also kind of great I guess. I didn't really care for the Dalek's death scene though.

The Long Game - Series One, Episode Seven

- I hate it when they go to outer space
- I also hate Russell T. Davies episodes
- With which the show responded, "Fuck you, he writes half the goddamn show anyway"
- Isn't Rose dating that black kid from London? What a SLUT
- Though tbqh a British interracial couple is probably the most unbelievable story aspect this show has pulled yet
- the dopey girl is a crazy action girl what a tweeest
- Pull the trigger, you retard
- And now you got gobbled up after a ridiculously over the top close-up
- This episode is the worst
- So yeah this Adam guy (yeah, I know his name now BOOYAH) fucks everything up
- Doc needs better companions.
- Next episode looks like fun

Yeah. Crappy episode. Hope it isn't written by Russell T. Davies

Father's Day - Series One, Episode Eight

- Good. Not written by Davies.
- But it is written by the guy who wrote Captain Brittain and MI-13. AWESOME.
- lol at papa Rose's death
- rose ur a dumb bitch
- Doc laying the smackdown on this broad
- He could've at least have the decency to send her back to her own time though
- rickroll on the radio
- This is a crazy entertaining episode
- Rose's mom is a hundred times worse than Buffy's mom. I want to punch her in the face so hard
- Rose's dad is the best though
- omg he's gonna kill himself =(
- RIP Rose's dad (again)
- Next episode sees Rose WHORING around again with some boy

Really great episode. It seems the quality of this show completely depends on it being written by Davies or not.

RTD does manage to write some good episodes in Season One, but after that they get increasingly shit once you realize he can only write one kind of story. The sole exception of this is an episode in Season 4 which is one of the best Who episodes.

Look out for the episodes written by Steven Moffat because those are the best (he becomes showrunner after RTD).

Pretty sure Moff's two parter is coming up. It's one of best of Nine's stories.

The Empty Child - Series One, Episode Nine

- Written by Steven Moffat? Okay, my expectations just skyrocketed
- Ugh, Rose. Don't you know you should never go after kids with gas masks?
- I find it hard to believe that people were just chillin' in the middle of WWII bombings
- Gas Mas Kid is a creepy little shit
- Rose meets a guy who is also a time traveller
- She's infatuated with him surprise
- Seriously, did she break up with that black kid during that dumb alien invasion two parter. I never finished those episodes because they were so bad
- Another fuck-up doctor
- GODDAMN CREEPY GAS MASK PEOPLE
- I don't have much to say about this episode, but it's pretty good
- Are you my mummy, indeed

The Doctor Dances - Series One, Episode Ten

- Last episode's cliffhanger episode is resolved by Doc telling the gas mask people to... go to their rooms
- Works for me
- Jack Harkness, professional banana user
- The Doctor, proffesional sonic screwdriver user
- lol I hope all these goddamn gas mask people get locked in a room with Rose's mommy
- Nancy is the mother SURPRISE BITCH
- *How I Met Your Mother joke*
- Doc is being kind of a douche to her.
- hey guy why dont you first work out your shit with elevating robots
- The kid is saved
- Everyone's saved
- fantastic!
- Jack Harkness joins the crew
- oh god not the goddamn Skrulls again

Great episode. Can't wait for more Moffat. My favourite's still Father's Day though.

Boom Town - Series One, Episode Eleven

- Ugh. That fat piece of shit skrull.
- Davies
- Black kid!!!
- Black kid is most definitely still dating Rose
- Captain Jack is my second favourite character after Dalek
- Rose and black kid have a spat, presumbaly because British folks were offended by an interracial couple
- ZZZzZZZZZ
- Daleks in the next episode?!

Yeah, boring ass episode.

Bad Wolf - Series One, Episode Twelve

- Doc is on Big Brother. Ah, memories.
- Rose is on The Weakest Link. Ah, memories.
- Seriously, The Weakest Link was one of my favourite game shows
- This is Davies' best episode yet
- PREDICTION: Captain Jack is gay
- CONFIRMED: Captain Jack is gay (he puts shit up his ass)
- The girl Doc is romancing is going to die
- Or she's evil
- Captain Jack kind of looks like a gay Han Solo right now
- Rose is turned to dust!!!
- (actually a transporter beam so lame)
- DALEKS!!!!
- oh shit they're all elevating and exterminating

Pretty damn great episode. The best Davies has had to offer yet.

Captain Jack is omnisexual. He fucks everything.

Don't judge him, he's just an open minded bloke from the 51st century.

Jack in Who is the best. In Torchwood he's such a mopey bitch.

The Parting of the Ways - Series One, Episode Thirteen

- I PREDICT THE DOCTOR WILL DIE IN THIS EPISODE
- Jack and his huge gun are so sexy
- EMPEROR OF THE DALEKS
- cant stop laughing etc
- Roderick won the game and wants to know where the money is. OF COURSE it's the black guy who only cares about trivial things like that
- "And I bet you're fussin' and moanin' now. Typical." lol rose
- rose u just got sacked
- lolz I bet black kid has been waiting around that corner for all this time
- UGH Rose's mom
- I think Roderick just lost the game =(
- Man this show isn't afraid to kill everyone off
- Only Captain Jack is left because he is HARDCORE
- nooooo captain jack noooooooooooooooooooo
- Rose Ex Machina to the rescue
- omg captain jack is back!!!!!!!!!
- AND THEN THE DOCTOR DIES
- RIP the doctor. He was kind of fantastic
- Hello David Tennant (also possibly Barty Crouch Jr.)

So that was a pretty great finale. If Davies can keep this quality up with upcoming episodes, it should work out. Though considering what Sarbud said...

Overall this season had a flat out terrible first half and a second half that ranged from good to great. I'm still not sure how serious I'm supposed to be taking the Daleks.

BEST CHARACTERS

1. Captain Jack. He kicked all kinds of ass
2. Dalek. He was the first to elevate and exterminate and also he could feel love.
3. Roderick. He won The Weakest Link which is quite an accomplishment.
4. Rose's dad. This guy was awesome, I only wish it passed on to his whiny daughter
5. The Doctor. Fantastic.

WORST CHARACTERS

1. Rose's mom. UGHHH
2. Rose. Bitch, whiner, skank, dumbass.
3. Skrulls. All of them. What the fuck where they thinking.
4. All of the one-shot characters in Davies' episodes. Boring, one-dimensional, unneccesarily goofy and unfunny.
5. black kid. Not neccesarily because he was a bad character, but because the writers used him to show how racist they were

You don't like Mickey? I thought he was cool. He protected Rose's mom from those deadly farting alien instead of running like a bitch.

I have banished anything Skrull related from my mind.

What the fuck are Skrulls?

And in the context of the show?

The Christmas Invasion - Christmas Special

- We immediately get back to our favourite racist soapbox and worst mom ever
- Santas with trumpet flamethrowers are my favourite Santas
- I hate it when christmas trees do that thing where they destroy the entire house
- We are introduced to a girl named Sally who works at the government. I really like her
- (because she's hot)
- These new aliens are almost as "threatening" as the Daleks and the Skrulls
- This all feels so Independence Day
- Maybe black kid will step the fuck up and become the new Will Smith?
- Okay without the helmets they look sort of kind of creepy
- Just like the ID4 aliens!
- This episode has too much Rose and Rose's mom
- Also having the Doctor incapacitated for most of the episode isn't the best way to introduce him
- Doc is back and saving the episode
- Lion King quote omg
- I guess the new Doc is a certified badass
- SERIOUSLY
- I am sorry to say that black kid did not become the new Will Smith
- GILESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This episode was 70% boring and 30% Doctor awesomeness.

When I finally sat down to watch the series, I started with The Christmas Invasion because I heard that Tennant was the best and I didn't want to waste my time with the guy from 28 Days Later (Eccleston).

"No second chances. That's the kind of man I am."

Ten gets a great opening, it's a shame they don't figure out how they're going to portray him until Season 3 (and it's not the good way we see here).

New Earth - Series Two, Episode One

- How many times have we seen Rose say goodbye to black kid and Rose's mom now?
- Not really a fan of the futuristic plots of this show
- UGH it's that dumb a shit final human being or something
- tbqh I prefer Futurama's New New York
- lots of furry material in this episode though
- what hijinks will ensue now that the plastic surgery addict is inhabiting Rose's body?!
- I hope she starts with liposuction because Rose is fat
- This is a really lame episode
- omg zombiesss
- I hope there aren't any important plot points brought up in this episode because I'm kind of zoning out
- and then Cassandra dies
- tragic
- Next episode: Barty takes on Sirius Black

So this episode sucked, amirite guys?

Tooth and Claw - Series Two, Episode Two

- bunch of asskicking bald monks in orange clothing
- I will call all of them Krillin
- Queen Victoria is kind of a hag
- Nobody is noticing the sudden influx of Krillin in the mansion?
- I'm waiting for an interesting twist on the typical werewolf tale
- guess that's not happening today
- Davies needs to learn how to write characters that aren't annoying as fuck
- oh by the way ol chaps i gots a huge diamond in my purse
- The werewolf is destroyed by a beam of light
- BUT OH WAIT the queen is cut
- Which explains the family's hemophilia whatever
- Which is HILARIOUS!!!
- The queen then creates Torchwood

Another boring episode that with hardly anything redeemable about it.

You'll like the next episode for one very important reason.

Fourth episode is written by Moffat and is - of course - one of Ten's best stories.

School Reunion - Series Two, Episode Three

- GILESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
- Giles is a pedophile
- and eats people
- No Davies episode. Good, good.
- Milo was just like me in high school!
- Uh, I mean I bullied people just like Milo in high school!
- Rose is a lunch lady. Perfect.
- I hope it's revealed at the end of the episode that the school is built on a Hellmouth
- We are introduced to Sarah Jane Smith who ALSO has a spinoff show
- And I guess she was in a pre-reboot Who series?
- Rose and SJ bitch each other out
- Personally I'm siding with Black Kid (now capitalised) because he's the most sympathetic character for no other reason than the writers and characters continually pissing on him
- lolol Black Kid called Rose fat
- lololol Black Kid commented on dumb robot voices
- Black Kid realises that the writers and characters are constantly pissing on him
- Love how meta this episode is
- Giles' constant screeching is annoying
- Robot Dog says he has a laser, but can't use it. What a tease.
- omg robot dog uses his laz0rz!!
- Black Kid joins the crew
- And Rose is a bitch about it smh
- Turns out the school was located on a Hellmouth

So this was a pretty great episode even though I don't care about Sarah Jane.