Justice League Watchthrough

Wake The Dead

Notes

- Nerds, am I right?
- Aquaman don't you have a kingdom to run? And a son to raise?
- The plot kinda feels contrived for this episode. Like, they knew they needed Grundy to come back to motivate Hawkgirl to return, so they skipped straight to that and just kind brushed over the "why?" and "how?"
- Oh well, as long Hawkgirl comes back.
- John and Vixen's relationship always strikes me as odd. They obviously wanted to create tension between John and Hawkgirl, but they could have built up the relationship in previous episodes (a la Green Arrow and Black Canary) before dropping it on us. As it is, it's like "Shit! Hawkgirl's coming back! We need a woman! Uh... She'll do!"
- And here comes one of my least favorite parts of the DCAU: Amazo realizes that his powers don't work on Grundy (for some reason) and that Grundy is feeding on them, so he immediately flees to another galaxy... and never appears again. It's obvious the writers wrote themselves into a corner by having such a powerful character and hastily threw together a ridiculous reason to write him out of the story. Grundy doesn't even feed on anyone else's power. Just Amazo's.
- Oh yeah, good plan Vixen. Let's crush him! He can shrug off being punched by Superman, but surely a few tons of concrete out to do the trick!
- So we learn how the vote at the end of Starcrossed went. John recused himself and that Superman broke the tie with a vote to let her stay. Diana obviously voted to kick her out and Flash and J'onn obviously voted to allow her to stay. That means Batman voted to expel her from the League. Batman you suck. Coincidentally, this is the opposite way the vote went at the end of Tower of Babel, the comic from which the scene was based on. The difference was it was Batman in the hot seat after his plans almost destroyed the League. There, Superman broke the tie by voting to eject Batman from the League. Interesting, I guess.

Fights

John and Vixen vs. Grundy
- Result: Grundy seems immune to damage.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Grundy.

Superman vs. Grundy
- Result: Superman is surprised by Grundy's new power and gets taken down.
- Decision: Grundy victorious

John, Superman and Vixen vs. Grundy
- Result: They're pretty much helpless in the face of Grundy's chaos magic enhanced form.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Grundy

Aquaman, Dr. Fate, John, Superman and Vixen vs. Grundy
- Result: They're just stalling pretty much.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Grundy

Hawkgirl vs. Grundy
- Result: Hawkgirl's mace is made of nth metal, which disrupts magic. She eventually finishes him.
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Hawkgirl

The Once and Future Thing - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- The first two parter since Justice League and coincidentally one of the best stories in the DCAU. The first episode is kind of lame but the second one is brilliant.
- Cronus may be a doucebag, but his wife is a total bitch. She lambasts him for not stealing gold or gathering stock information when there is a crown right behind in a display case.
- I would love an episode that just deals with Batman investigating the relationships of the people aboard the Watchtower and smugly commenting on them.
- Time travel is all well and good; doesn't explain how Cronus gets aboard the Watchtower though.
- I like the Western version of the Justice League theme.
- Batman since when are you one to let an innocent man die, no matter the reason?
- Hm, Richard Alpert plays El Diablo.
- They clearly used robot cowboys just so they have shootouts and keep it age appropriate.
- I think we can all agree that Jonah Hex is really gay and I don't know why the DCAU keeps using him. He showed up in BTAS too for an equally shitty episode.
- You could easily just cut out the entire Wild West part of the episode and skip straight to the Beyond stuff.
- All I remember about the the second episode is that it's dark as hell. So many people die.
- I may have issues with Beyond for what it did with the original Batman and for some other wasted potential, but Terry's cool and this episode does some great things with the time period.
- Melissa Joan Heart? You show up in the weirdest places.
- Also Terry is Terry. Batman's Batman.
- Why is it that whenever writers are allowed to do what if stories, their first instinct is to kill everyone they can and make the world the most fucked up it can possibly be?
- Jokerz Gang roll call: Bonk, Chucko, Dee Dee, Ghoul and Woof. Ghoul is voiced by the same guy who voiced Flash. At least he's still voicing somebody.
- Deaths: Future Superman, Future Wonder Woman and Future J'onn, as well as the rest of the Future League like Kai-Ro, Big Bertha and Aquagirl. I can sort of see the others being killed, but how the fuck did the Jokerz kill Superman?
- I could watch Batman interact with his future self all day.
- Chucko gets the best death I've ever seen for a minor henchman. "Well, Chucko does!"
- Death: Wonder Woman, erased from existence.
- Ghoul sounds like Christopher Walken.
- Batman playing good cop bad cop with his older self is great.
- John suddenly shifting into Hal Jordan Green Lantern is hilarious. "I am up to speed. Carry on." Does that count as a death though? I guess.
- Death: John Stewart, replaced by Hal Jordan.
- And then he phases back to John again. Hm.
- Undeath: John Stewart, replaces Hal Jordan.
- Death: Static, sucked out of existence.
- This is the one that really hurts:
- Death: Terry, killed by Dee Dee. Goddamn, Old Batman's reaction to it is devastating.
- Like, I get they have to chase Cronus because reality is collapsing, but Batman and John just leave Warhawk alone with the Jokerz.
- The beginning of time is a giant hand holding the universe. Okay why not.

Fights

Diana vs. Bandits
- Result: The biggest, slowest bullets.
- Decision: Diana victorious

Batman vs. Warden
- Result: Go ahead punk, make his day.
- Decision: Batman victorious

El Diablo, Jonah Hex and Ohiyesa vs. Manning's Thugs
- Result: The cavalry arrives.
- Decision: El Diablo, Jonah Hex and Ohiyesa victorious

Diana vs. Robo-Pterodactyl
- Result: Uh...
- Decision: Diana victorious

Bat Lang, Batman, Diana, El Diablo John, Jonah Hex, and Ohiyesa vs. Manning's Men, Robo-Cowboys and other future toys.
- Result: This episode is kind of stupid. Second part makes up for it though.
- Decision: Bat Lang, Batman, Diana, El Diablo John, Jonah Hex, and Ohiyesa victorious

Ohiyesa vs. Manning
- Result: Cowboys are dumb.
- Decision: Ohiyesa victorious

Batman, Diana, John, Static, Terry, Warhawk vs. Jokerz Gang
- Result: Augmented by future technology, the Jokerz prove too much for the good guys and they are forced to flee.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Jokerz Gang

Batman, John, Static, Terry and Warhawk vs. Bonk, Dee Dee, Ghoul and Woof
- Result: Static is sucked out of time and Terry is blindsided and killed by Dee Dee after protecting Cronus' wife. Batman and Green Lantern pursue Cronus.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Jokerz Gang.

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman and Green Lantern

The Cat and the Canary

Notes

- The title makes me sad because it reminds me of the Bat-Embargo.
- That said, this episode owns bones. Wildcat owns. Black Canary owns.
- Green Arrow and Black Canary are going to have beautiful aryan babies.
- Is it just me or is Green Arrow's voice constantly muffled? Maybe it's just his accent but his words don't carry and his voice isn't as clear as any other character you care to mention. It sounds like the VA recorded his lines in a lower quality booth.
- The fights in this episode are substantially better than average. The animation is more fluid and the choreography makes it much more interesting to watch.
- So Atomic Skull's power is... he has a glowing green skull? I'll admit, his name is very descriptive.
- Damn Green Arrow, that was Batman level deception.
- I'm sure there's an easier way to prove a point, Green Arrow.
- It's good to see J'onn still does something these days.

Fights

Black Canary vs. Thugs
- Result: She hit Freeflow Focus for sure.
- Decision: Black Canary victorious

Wildcat vs. Atomic Skull
- Result: Wildcat pounds Atomic Skull until Green Arrow and Black Canary break up the fight.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Wildcat

Black Canary and Green Arrow vs. Security
- Result: Green Arrow has an arrow for every occasion.
- Decision: Black Canary and Green Arrow victorious

Green Arrow vs. Wilcat
- Result: Green Arrow provokes Wildcat into beating him to death.
- Decision: Wildcat technically wins, but Green Arrow wanted him to win so uh

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Green Arrow

The Ties That Bind

Notes

- This episodes owns bones. Know why? FLASH. savior of the universe
- Granny Goodness is such a great villain. Just the perfect amount of fucked up.
- At least Flash acknowledges that they've been neglecting him recently. Seriously, 15 episodes!
- Flash needs to start caving people's heads in by vibrating his fingers and then he'll get the respect he deserves. Other than Amazo, Flash would be pretty much the most powerful character in the series if he ever cut loose.
- I've always wondered why the people of Apokolips' look so dramatically different. Some look like humans, some look like monsters, one is ostensibly German...
- For all the talk of how inescapable the X Pit is, they have remarkable ease finding Kalibak and then escaping again. Guess Flash is just the best.
- I don't say this often but J'onn owns.

Fights

Big Barda, Flash and Mr. Miracle vs. Vundabar's Minions
- Result: Flash owns.
- Decision: Big Barda, Flash and Mr. Miracle victorious

Big Barda and Mr. Miracle vs. X Pit Robots
- Result: Well, Miracle. We just say Miracle.
- Decision: Big Barda and Mr. Miracle victorious

Big Barda and Kalibak vs. X Pit Robots
- Result: X Pit? More like... uh............ Reject's pit.
- Decision: Big Barda and Kalibak victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash

The Doomsday Sanction

Notes

- This episode owns bones.
- Batman you are such a creeper. To whit: https://i.imgur.com/SjskI.gif
- I think Amanda Waller won that round, Bats.
- I liked the mirrored shots of the conference tables of the Justice League and Cadmus.
- Hugo Strange is present at the Cadmus conference, though only as a cameo. One of the only characters to bypass the Bat embargo.
- If you pay attention during the Cadmus conference, they foreshadow a lot of upcoming episodes. Particularly the mention of Galatea's recovery and "the armor".
- I dislike Doomsday's new voice. They put a weird filter on it and it sounds stupid now.
- Batman will look for any excuse to sacrifice himself. I do like that J'onn knows this when he resignedly tells Batman how to stop the missile.
- Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.
- Lava won't destroy Superman's clothes, but punches will.
- Batman flies a nuke out into the ocean to save everyone. Where have I seen this before?
- The Justice Lord imagery with the council where Doomsday is sentenced to exile in the Phantom Zone is great. "Spoken like a true Justice Lord."
- One of the best endings of the show, for sure.

Fights

Superman vs. Doomsday
- Result: After a long hard fight, Superman throws Doomsday into the erupting volcano.
- Decision: Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman.

Task Force X

Notes

- One of my favorite episodes.
- Seriously, it's a heist movie where the villains steal from the Justice League. What is there not to like?
- Task Force X roll call: Deadshot, Clock King, Captain Boomerang and Plastique. And Colonel Flagg.
- I love that Clock King's super power is that he can schedule really well.
- Commentary is going to be sparse(r) because I'm having too much fun watching the episode.
- Just watch the episode yourselves you lazy bums.
- That was pretty brutal Deadshot.
- I wish they had done more with Task Force X.

Fights

Deadshot vs. Watchtower Personnel
- Result: Deadshot manages to knock him out after being spotted.
- Decision: Deadshot victorious

Atom Smasher, Golden Knight and Vigilante vs. Task Force X and the Annihilator
- Result: You realize how weak Task Force X is when these guys give them trouble.
- Decision: Task Force X and the Annihilator victorious

Captain Atom and J'onn vs. Task Force X and the Annihilator
- Result: Deadshot sacrifices Plastique to give the rest of them the opportunity to get away.
- Decision: Task Force X and the Annihilator victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Uh... J'onn, I guess

The Balance

Notes

- Laziest escape ever.
- Flash is the best. "I had dinner with two women at the same time... cause I'm a stud."
- Dr. Fate really is useless.
- Ah, so Diana is 003. So Superman is 002 and Batman is probably 001. Makes sense since they're the big three.
- Hippolyta's a real bitch.
- I'm not even going to get into the ramifications of the Judeo-Christian god apparently carrying weight in Hell when it's also been established that the Greek Gods are real. Especially since we've seen the beginning of time in an earlier episode and the Source Wall in a later one.
- So the true secret power of Diana's armor amounts to the lasso making people tell the truth.
- Wait, oil and vinegar? Since when has that been the term? It's always been oil and water.

Fights

Diana and Hawkgirl vs. Demons
- Result: They mistake Hawkgirl for an angel. Yeah.
- Decision: Diana and Hawkgirl victorious

Diana, Hades and Hawkgirl vs. Faust
- Result: War makes strange bedfellows
- Decision: Diana, Hades and Hawkgirl victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Shit who cares, Diana episodes suck

Double Date

Notes

- If this is the episode with the giant fat albino gangster, then I remember disliking it. Though it does have a lot of Question, Black Canary, Huntress and Green Arrow so it's not all bad.
- I have little to say about this episode. Huntress is female Batman and that's about all you need to know about her.
- Woah, Question's voice suddenly lost it's whispery edge for a second and he sounded really weird. Bad take I guess.
- I bet that TV execs insisted that Black Canary and Green Arrow had to wear helmets while on the motorbike.
- Green Arrow, you seriously don't have any useful arrows right now? Like... maybe a regular arrow? That could wound him?
- Good thing Mandragora's pants are made out of a stronger material isn't it?
- It's a nice episode that is bogged down by too much with heavy handed plot.

Fights

Huntress vs. Guards
- Result: She's killing me, Cecil.
- Decision: Huntress victorious

Question and Huntress vs. Black Canary and Green Arrow
- Result: Fights between street-tier fighters are always better than those that can fly and shit.
- Decision: Black Canary and Green Arrow victorious

Black Canary, Green Arrow, Huntress and Question vs. Mandragora
- Result: Huntress pins Mandragora under a pile of steel girders after wrestling with herself over killing him.
- Decision: Black Canary, Green Arrow, Huntress and Question victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Question because he is the best.

Clash

Notes

- This episode rules.
- I could listen to the triumphant version of Superman's leitmotif all day.
- Captain Marvel is basically Superman if Superman was fueled by magic rather than a yellow sun. Also he doesn't have a heat vision or super breath. And his costume's a little different. And he's secretly an eight year old boy. But basically they're the same.
- Superman hates when anyone upstages him. See: his resentment for both Captain Marvel and Wind Dragon. Future Lex was right, Superman craves the attention being a hero gives him.
- Don't think I didn't catch that extremely blurry painting of George Bush on the wall, creators. I'm onto you.
- Haha, Flash looks away when Superman declares that the League doesn't sell their fame.
- Doesn't matter what accent you put on, I'd recognize your voice anywhere John C. McGinley.
- Superman literally does not blink once throughout Lex's entire speech.
- It's amazing how Superman and Captain Marvel manage to smash up as much of the city as they possibly can during their fight. Seriously if you throw a bus into a multistory building it won't explode and instantly collapse.
- Superman is such a dick sometimes. Sure he was set up, but talk about an overreaction.

Fights

Metamorpho vs. Parasite
- Result: Metamorpho you suck.
- Decision: Parasite victorious

Batman vs. Parasite
- Result: Because Metamorpho sucks so much, Batman is unable to hurt Parasite.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Parasite

Captain Marvel vs. Parasite
- Result: He leaves Parasite all tied up.
- DecisioN: Captain Marvel victorious

Batman and Superman vs. Black Mass, Crowbar, Fastball and Shatterfist
- Result: The DCAU wiki is an invaluable resource for me.
- Decision: Batman and Superman victorious

Captain Marvel vs. Superman
- Result: Superman makes Captain Marvel shazaam himself, ending the fight. "Fight's over, son."
- Decision: Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Captain Marvel.

Hunter's Moon

Notes

- I like Hawkgirl, but any episode that focuses on her inevitably focuses on her relationship with John and Vixen. Like it's not a bad thing, it just gets samey.
- If I was a nerd, I'd mention that Nathan Fillion voices Vigilante and Gina Torres voices Vixen and that they're in space so this is basically Firefly. But I'm not so I won't.
- Yeah Vixen, don't you know a lot about the jungle? Since you're... uh...
- Vigilante, you're kind of racist.
- This episode isn't bad there's just not a lot to say. We never get any closure with the Thanagarians though. Guess they all got exterminated or something in some kind of Hawkocaust.

Fights

Hawkgirl, Vigilante and Vixen vs. Kragger, Paran Dul and the Thanagarians Scouts
- Result: The Justice League members are forced to flee against superior firepower.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Kragger, Paran Dul and the Thanagarians Scouts

Hawkgirl, Vigilante and Vixen vs. Kragger and a Thanagarian Scout
- Result: Vixen holds them off while Hawkgirl and Vigilante (who is injured) get clear. Vixen is incapacitated and captured.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Kragger and a Thanagarian Scout

Hawkgirl, Vigilante and Vixen vs. Kragger, Paran Dul and the Thanagarians Scouts
- Result: Ain't we just.
- Decision: Hawkgirl, Vigilante and Vixen victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Heroes: Vigilante and Vixen. I swear I didn't plan this from the beginning.

Question Authority

Notes

- All the New Gods look dumb.
- Don't think I didn't notice "BrazilBoyz" folder on the Cadmus disk, writers. You already had Hitler on the show.
- Given that Cadmus has video evidence of Alterna-Lex going crazy and almost destroying the world, you'd think they'd think twice before hopping into bed with him but nope.
- Question and Superman's conversation mirrors Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan's final conversation in Watchmen. Different outcome obviously.
- "Do you know how much power I'd have to give up to be president?" I love that line in every form of media it's appeared in.
- Flash would literally have to let himself be shot with a shotgun. He ran to the sun in less than a minute (sort of), bullets would crawl towards him and he'd be able to dodge it even at point blank range. Hell, he could probably vibrate his head so fast (assuming his limbs are completely immobilized, which is complete bullshit too) that he could generate some kind of wind barrier that would divert the buckshot.
- I could watch Superman fight regular guys all day.
- Captain Atom, you are always such a fuck.

Fights

Captain Atom and Superman vs. Mantis
- Result: Superman boom tubes Mantis into the next dimension. Or Apokolips.
- Decision: Captain Atom and Superman victorious

Huntress vs. Guards
- Result: The things she does for love.
- Decision: Huntress victorious

Question vs. Lex
- Result: Somehow the tie plan failed.
- Decision: Lex victorious

Huntress and Superman vs. Cadmus Guards
- Result: Dorp.
- Decision: Huntress and Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Question

Flashpoint

Notes

- This would go a lot smoother if you just cut him into pieces Superman. You know he can be reformed since he explodes on a regular basis.
- There's really no way you can tell how attractive the male characters are, Question (barring obvious deformities/fatness). All the men have the same face pretty much.
- Superman must be pretty sick of the normals raging at him and blaming him for ruining everything. First Batman, now Question.
- Flash proves he's the best by reiterating my second note. Seriously.
- Add Green Arrow to the list.
- So J'onn is 004. I'm surprised, I thought he'd be lower (uh... higher, oh you know what I mean). Well, that means Flash, Hawkgirl and Green Lantern are some combination of 005, 006, and 007. I wonder who's who.
- Superman just punched a hole in the Watchtower, depressurizing the ship and causing the immediate deaths of all crewman inside. Or not.
- Also I thought Superman couldn't breathe in space.
- Too bad it's Sunday, those buildings would have been filled up tomorrow.
- I wonder what happened to the original Long Shadow.

Fights

Captain Atom vs. Superman
- Result: Captain Atom uses Red Sun radiation like a total bitch. Superman still wins.
- Decision: Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash saved the kitten.

Panic In The Sky

Notes

- So the Justice League decides to turn themselves in until the investigation is complete. This would be a lot less dumb if they weren't aware of the imminent government conspiracy to kill them.
- Wow, haven't seen Batman since Clash. That's got to be a record.
- Wait, wasn't Red Tornado killed by Amazo? Are there more than one? They certainly didn't rebuild him.
- I don't think we ever see Galatea again so I guess Supergirl killed her. Take that Hamilton.
- So what happened to those brave Watchtower crewman who decided to fight Shifter when she turned into a T Rex. I'd hate to clean up the room she trapped them in.
- Braniac's sudden appearance is kind of fucked up. He just bursts out of Lex.

Fights

(Minor) Justice League vs. Ultimen
- Result: One Wind Dragon almost killed Superman, but dozens of him (and the rest of Ultimen) fail to beat the b-team of the Justice League.
- Decision: (Minor) Justice League victorious

Steel vs. Galatea
- Result: Who the hell is Steel?
- Decision: Galatea victorious

Supergirl vs. Galatea
- Result: After getting her ass kicked, Supergirl electrocutes Galatea using one of the main power feeds for the Watchtower's reactor core.
- Decision: Supergirl victorious

Batman vs. Lex
- Result: Lex throws Batman through a window.
- Decision: Lex victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

Divided We Fall

Notes

- Aw yeah, best episode of Justice League Unlimited right here.
- "Dude, that is messed up." Flash is the best.
- Huh, have I been spelling Brainiac wrong this entire time? Whoops.
- "I am so willing to wait my turn." Flash is the double best.
- J'onn finally took my advice from Paradise Lost and realized he could phase through tentacles that ensnared him. Good on you, J'onn.
- Robots should stop listening to Lex.
- Haha, all the other Justice Lords clones try to demoralize the Justice League by mocking their greatest insecurities. Justice Lords Batman has nothing to say before Batman destroys him.
- This is it, Flash proves once and for all that he is the best. Triple best if you will.
- The music that plays when Flash taps into the Speedforce is incredible and I'm really annoyed that they never released a Justice League OST.
- Thank god Batman added his strength to the line, without him they'd never have pulled Flash out of the Speedforce.
- Presumably, Batman goes home and watches Tim Drake kill Joker. So not the happiest ending for him. Oh well.

Fights

Justice League vs. Brainiac
- Result: Brainiac tricks the Justice League into going after a decoy and escapes.
- Decision: Brainiac victorious

Justice League vs. "Justice Lords"
- Result: Justice Lords Flash looks very silly.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Justice League vs. Braniac/Luthor
- Result: Diana manages to stop Braniac/Luthor from digitizing the world, but Braniac/Luthor incapacitates the entire League.
- Decision: Braniac/Luthor victorious

Flash vs. Braniac/Luthor
- Result: Watch Flash be the best.
- Decision: Flash victorious, now and forever

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash

Epilogue

Notes

- This is obviously meant to be the final episode of the DCAU. I'm glad they brought it back, even though it was just for 13 episodes.
- A lot of people don't get that the black and white scenes aren't flashbacks, they're what ifs.
- They do a really good job of retconning Batman Beyond to be congruent with the Cadmus storyline.
- Amanda just reiterates my point that all the men in the DCAU look pretty much the same.
- I love Terry is so wrapped up in a melodramatic soliloquy about the curse of Batman that he doesn't notice Amanda doesn't give a shit.
- The scene with Ace is probably Batman's greatest moment in the DCAU.
- "Not remotely what I meant."
- They do the best job they can in trying to give Batman a happy ending, but it's too little too late. He has no one except Terry. There's probably a lesson in that but it's one I don't want to learn.

Fights

Nope, flashbacks and what ifs don't count.

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

I Am Legion

Notes

- While Grodd is usually pretty meh as a villain they do some good stuff with his character in the last season. I do hate the episode where everyone gets to turned into apes though.
- I like that they leave it up in the air whether Luthor does still share a mindlink with Brainiac of if he's just hallucinating.
- "I hear she's... y'know.... Brazilian." Hawkgirl is the best.
- Fire's Brazilian accent is atrocious.
- Chuck is remarkably spry for an 80 year old.
- Damn these villains are z-list as hell.
- Suddenly it's okay to say Hitler. Before it always just "that maniac".
- Yes kids, history is important.

Fights

Chuck the Blackhawk, Fire and Hawkgirl vs. Robot Vultures
- Result: That's a lot of birds.
- Decision: Chuck, Fire and Hawkgirl victorious

Fire, Flash and Hawkgirl vs. The Island's Security System
- Result: No, not the Smoke Monster.
- Decision: Fire, Flash and Hawkgirl victorious

Fire, Flash and Hawkgirl vs. Dr. Polaris, Lex and The Key
- Result: They escape when Lex takes Chuck hostage.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Fire, Flash and Hawkgirl

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash

Shadow of the Hawk

Notes

- I'd recognize you anywhere Bender.
- "JUDAS PRIEST!" Looks like John's gonna need some painkiller oh damn am I clever
- All this talk of bulletin boards and flaming. The internet was such a baby back then compared to today.
- Yeah, like Batman gives a fuck about your booby traps.
- Just gonna brush over the slaves building the pyramids in ancient Egypt then? Yup? Yup. "WE RULED THIS LAND WITH FAIRNESS AND COMPASSION AND THE PEOPLE LOVED US"
- God damn Ancient Egyptian robots. Guess they were all the rage back in the day.
- Hawkman should have been introduced earlier.

Fights

Batman, John, Hawkgirl and Vixen vs. Dreamslayer, Gorgon, Lord Havok and Tracer
- Result: Yeah, I don't know who any of these people are either.
- Decision: Batman, John, Hawkgirl and Vixen victorious

Batman vs. Shadow Thief
- Result: Can't fight something non corporeal.
- Decision: Shadow Thief victorious

Hawkgirl and Hawkman vs. Shadow Thief
- Result: "The unfair advantage" disadvantage works both ways.
- Decision: Shadow Thief victorious

Batman, Hawkgirl and Hawkman vs. Shadow Thief
- Result: They drive him away with lights.
- Decision: Batman, Hawkgirl and Hawkman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

Chaos At The Earth's Core

Notes

- Shame Japanese Spiderman isn't around to save the day.
- I dunno if the portrayal of Japan is endearing or racist. I mean, it's not like it's unrealistic.
- These denizens of the center of the earth sure are familiar with the vernacular. Meet the proud and noble warchief TRAVIS.
- What a coincidence, Metallo's down there too.
- I wonder if Phil LaMarr ever gets sick of having conversations with himself.
- John just vanishes halfway through the episode. Supergirl could have used his help when she was fighting for her life.
- Travis is living the true American dream.

Fights

John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E and Supergirl vs. Gamera
- Result: Supergirl kill steals.
- Decision: John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E and Supergirl victorious

John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E and Supergirl vs. Dinotroopers
- Result: Stargirl is such a bitch.
- Decision: John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E and Supergirl victorious

John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E, Supergirl, Travis and Skartaris' Army vs. Deimos, Metallo, Silver Banshee and Deimos' Army
- Result: Supergirl owns.
- Decision: John, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E, Supergirl, Travis and Skartaris' Army victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Supergirl

To Another Shore

Notes

- I'm almost certain that I dislike this episode.
- I've always wondered why Diana and J'onn are so chummy with one another. One's a total bitch and the other is Wonder Woman.
- I bet Prince Jon has his own shitty comic that no one cares about.
- Since when is J'onn so misanthropic? What a dick.
- Oh look, J'onn used his mind powers and instantly collapsed. Have you guys missed this? I have.
- Prince Jon's ship would take centuries to reach the sun if they launched it from the Watchtower.
- Yeah, very meh episode. Oh well, at least J'onn is gone.

Fights

Security vs. Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost
- Result: Ice to see you.
- Decision: Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost victorious

Diana, King Faraday and Faraday's Men vs. Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost
- Result: What kind of name is King anyway?
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost

Diana, Green Arrow, J'onn, King Faraday, Mr. Terrific and Faraday's Men vs. Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost
- Result: Too bad the Terrific Three had to say at home. The bad guys succeed in stealing Prince Jon's ship.
- Decision: Devil Ray, Heatwave, Giganta and Killer Frost victorious

Green Arrow vs. Submarine Personnel
- Result: If I had a theme song I'd sing it too.
- Decision: Green Arrow victorious

Diana vs. Devil Ray
- Result: This episode sucks.
- Decision: Diana victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Killer Frost

Flash and Substance

Notes

- This is a great episode. It's basically pure Flash appreciation.
- Guess Task Force X is no more. Shame, they could have done so much more with them.
- It's occurred to me that we haven't seen Superman (speak) since I Am Legion.
- Flash would tell his family his secret identity.
- Trickster must be such a step down for Mark Hamill from Joker.
- Flash has costume deployment rings.
- I love that Flash deals with his rogue's gallery like a dad from an 80s movie. "Got me again, Flash!"
- For being a Superman-tier hero, Orion sure is getting his ass kicked by there z-villains.

Fights

Flash vs. Mirror Master
- Result: Flash foils Mirror Master's attempt on his life.
- Decision: Flash victorious

Flash vs. Captain Boomerang
- Result: Flash foils Captain Boomerang's attempt on his life.
- Decision: Flash victorious

Batman, Flash and Orion vs. Captain Boomerang, Captain Cold and Mirror Master
- Result: Orion is a total loser.
- Decision: Batman, Flash and Orion victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash

Dead Reckoning

Notes

- Just seven episodes to go, can't wait for this to be done with.
- I don't remember this episode at all.
- What kind of stupid name is Deadman.
- Well if it isn't Superman. I think I still recognize him after all this time.
- And he's immediately possessed by Deadman. Oh well.
- Superman's VA mimicking Deadman's accent is hilarious.
- "What am I doing in Africa?"
- Ah yes, Grodd's plan. I certainly remember this part for being the most stupid thing in the world. At least it doesn't last long.
- If Grodd's device rewrote everyone's DNA to be that of a talking gorilla, why does Superman still have powers? He isn't Kryptonian anymore!
- Oh wow, for how mediocre the episode is, everything after Superman destroys the device is really good: Deadman possessing Batman and killing Devil Ray, and Lex's mutiny against Grodd.

Fights

Monk Guard vs. Devil Ray
- Result: You get what you pay for.
- Decision: Devil Ray victorious

Monks vs. Atomic Skull, Bizarro, Rampage and Legion of Doom soldiers.
- Result: Bizarro should have some kind of freeze vision.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Atomic Skull, Bizarro, Rampage and Legion of Doom soldiers

Master vs. Devil Ray
- Result: Devil Ray's really racking up a body count here.
- Decision: Devil Ray victorious

Deadman vs. Tala
- Result: Deadman you suck.
- Decision Tala victorious

Batman, Diana, Deadman Solovar and Gorilla City vs. Legion of Doom C-Listers
- Result: And that's saying something.
- Decision: Batman, Deadman, Diana, Solovar and Gorilla City victorious

Superman vs. Bizarro
- Result: Bizarro wins. Get it?
- Decision: Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Superman

Patriot Act

Notes

- Flashbacks don't count.
- The entire opening sequence is basically a big old middle finger to Captain America. Also Eiling's transformation is basically the Hulk's. Lowblows, DCAU. Lowblows.
- This episode is a very heavy-handed allegory for American imperialism and the War on Terror. That's pretty much all I got to say about it.
- If I gave a damn about American politics, I would use the allusion to Clint Eastwood on the show and use it to segue into a joke about Invisible Obama. But I don't so I won't.
- That kid Vigilante rescued speaks exclusively in gay innuendos.
- You know who would be really useful right now? Amazo.
- I love that Green Arrow (AKA Fun Batman or Liberal Batman or Has-parents Batman) has his own Not-Robin.
- Sure, Shining Knight must look pretty good standing up to Eiling Hulk. But what would you think if I told you he slept with his twin sister?
- See kids, jingoism is a bad thing.

Fights

Eiling vs. Guard
- Result: I hope real government compounds aren't as easy to infiltrate.
- Decision: Eiling victorious

Eiling Hulk vs. Minor Justice League
- Result: Basically the Minor Leaguers get their shit wreck for seven minutes until the crowd rallies against Eiling and he leaves of his own accord. And he's never seen again.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Eiling Hulk

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Those darn, meddling kids.

The Great Brain Robbery

Notes

- Might be my favorite episode.
- Sinestro with the ice burn.
- I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that Doctor Fate literally ruins everything.
- Lex-in-Flash is a terrifying prospect. Flash is the most powerful being in the DCAU when he isn't tempered by Flash's heart. I wouldn't be surprised if he solo'd the entire League. And he pretty much does.
- I love how well both Flash and Lex's VA mimic each other's mannerisms.
- Lex-in-Flash took down the following offscreen: Starman, Stargirl, Captain Atom, Elongated Man, Wild Cat, Doctor Light and Booster Gold. I don't include fights that occur off screen, but I couldn't let this go unrecorded.
- Flash is the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh1CqCAc2fE
- I could watch Flash-in-Lex try to act like Lex all day. "LEX LUTHOR IS PLEASED."
- Lex is the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18_1fHrD328
- Well, Flash is 006. I'd guess John is 005 and Hawkgirl is 007. Glad we put that to rest.
- Doctor Light shows up again on Earth. Did somebody say production goof!?

Fights

Lex-in-Flash vs. Doctor Fate, John, Mr Terrific and Red Tornado
- Result: The League cut off Lex's escape route, but they are unable to stop him from fleeing deeper into the Watchtower.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Lex-in-Flash vs. John and Red Tornado
- Result: Flash avoids capture again.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Lex-in-Flash

Lex-in-Flash vs. Doctor Fate, John and Red Tornado
- Result: Lex drumming Doctor Fate's head might be the funniest thing I''ve seen on this show.
- Decision: Lex-in-Flash victorious

Doctor Polaris and Sinestro vs. Kaznian Escort
- Result: Pretty sure Kaznians have never won anything.
- Decision: Doctor Polaris and Sinestro victorious

Doctor Light, Ice and Steel vs. Doctor Polaris and Sinestro
- Result: Whole lotta PHDs in this episode.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Doctor Light, Ice and Steel

Lex-in-Flash vs. Mr Terrific
- Result: He really is terrific.
- Decision: Mr Terrific victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Mr Terrific

Grudge Match

Notes

- Sonar is my new favorite character.
- Last time the Question has a role for the rest of the show.
- Yes! Nightwing got a cameo! Fucking Bat embargo.
- It just occurs to me we haven't seen Hawkgirl since Shadow of the Hawk.
- It's nice that the character acknowledge how fucking scary it would be to fight Diana.
- I'm retiring the Question's Qomedy Quotes section, because he never speaks again.

Fights

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Pickpocket
- Result: Black Canary has some difficulty so Huntress steps in.
- Decision: Black Canary and Huntress victorious

Huntress vs. Security
- Result: Innuendo.
- Decision: Huntress victorious

Black Canary vs. Fire
- Result: Burns look really weird on this show.
- Decision: Black Canary victorious

Black Canary vs. Huntress
- Result: Damn, throat shot.
- Decision: Huntress victorious

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Hawkgirl and Vixen
- Result: Black Canary and Huntress manage to remove the Watchtower comm links that control Hawkgirl and Vixen.
- Decision: Black Canary and Huntress victorious

Black Canary, Hawkgirl, Huntress and Vixen vs. Diana
- Result: Realizing it's hopeless, Black Canary and Huntress go after Roulette.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Diana

Hawkgirl and Vixen vs. Diana
- Result: They distract Diana while Black Canary and Vixen try to shut the mind control signal. She kicks their asses.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Diana

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Security
- Result: It must be hard to be an anonymous henchman.
- Decision: Black Canary and Huntress

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Roulette and Sonar
- Result: Guess Sonar isn't so cool after all.
- Decision: Black Canary and Huntress victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Huntress

I saw a few episodes recently, including Divided We Fall. Really enjoyed it, and I had no idea Flash was as powerful as he was. (Even if the end of the episode everyone was suddenly sucking Superman's dick again, despite it being Flash who'd basically beaten Brainiac/Lex on his jack jones.)