Justice League Watchthrough

Eclipsed - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- Goddamn do the writers for this show have a boner for Latin.
- Y'know, despite being the de-facto leader of the Justice League, Superman probably appears the least of all the members.
- "Why do you need a van. Wait. don't answer that I don't want to know."
- The Flashmobile is hilarious. Flash is the best.
- I like that tune that Burns whistles is part of the musical theme that plays when he does evil things.
- Flash's commercials are the best part of this episode.
- Time and space has no meaning in this episode. McCormick somehow gets to Central City from Not-Iraq in about 10 hours.
- This episode could have been better if the villain wasn't evil snake people incarnate.
- Damn Hawkgirl, you done goofed.
- I really like how this show uses and alters leitmotifs to indicate things about the characters. A darker version of Superman's theme plays while he's hunting Flash.
- Oh snap I remember this. Is this the episode where Flash runs to the sun?
- Flash should've just tapped into the speed force and owned the entire League. He's clearly the strongest character.
- Yes, Flash is going to run to the sun. From Earth. It takes him all of maybe one minute. I know the writers imply that it's longer than what we see, but they do a bad job of showing it.
- Also, since Green Lantern is capable of creating energy fast enough for Flash to run on, he could just throw the damn flux capacitor (or whatever it was) into the sun since he's able to generate the force fields that far away anyway.
- The plan fails because Flash is blinded instantly by the sun's rays. Wait no that's a lie.
- The writers seriously have no sense of scale.

Fights

Special Ops Soldiers vs. Mophir
- Result: Mophir jumps around a bit before being knocked out with the butt of a rifle. Some guardian he is.
- Decision: Special Ops Soldiers

Burns vs. Special Ops Soldiers
- Result: Burns touches the Heart of Darkness and is possessed. He triggers a cave in and traps his former comrades under rubble.
- Decision: Burns victorious

Burns vs. Soldiers
- Result: Burns' jeep is run down and he is captured. The Heart of Darkness' power transfers to General McCormick.
- Decision: Soldier victorious

Diana vs. McCormick
- Result: Diana subdues McCormick with little effort but welp, the Heart of Darkness' power transfers to her.
- Decision: Diana victorious (...I guess)

Flash, John, Possessed Diana vs. Mophir
- Result: Mophir succeeds in incapacitating Possessed Diana, but Flash and John take him down before he can hurt her.
- Decision: Flash, John and Possessed Diana victorious

Justice League vs. Possessed John
- Result: The Justice League succeeds in wrestling the Heart of Darkness away from John.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Flash vs. Possessed Justice League
- Result: Flash manages to evade them time and time again until he hits them with enough light to drive the possession out of them.
- Decision: Flash victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 38

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash (damn straight)

I really love that episode, i'm 4 stories ahead of you. Are you going to incorporate the static shock crossovers into this? I haven't seen or got them myself. Also state if you want comments removed till thread completed.

I've never bothered with Static Shock. I've watch everything else in the DCAU except that and some later Superman TAS episodes (because they just got so samey that I started skipping any that seemed boring).

I know Green Lantern appears in Static Shock a few times but I don't really have any interest in tracking the episode down. Eh... maybe I'm racist.

Comments are fine.

I got the impression static shock was kiddy and was supposed to be cool which generally makes things terrible. He does show up in JLU and its commented that he knows them, from what i understand batman showed up in static shock although maybe i'm wrong, and i got confused with scooby doo or soemthing. There's apparently an episode with static shock the JL and brainiac.

The Terror Beyond - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- If this is the episode I think it is, then it is very sad.
- I respect the writers for trying to do something serious with Grundy's character. Comical as he may be, he's still a magical swamp zombie - which is weird even by DC standards.
- "You ever get chafed, straddling the fence all the time?" Hawkgirl is the best. Also this is kind of her first centric and that's great.
- "Hera, give me strength!" "Do you have to say that every time!?" Hawkgirl is the best.
- Why does no one just explain to Hawkgirl and the others what they're doing to Grundy. It would take nearly a whole minute.
- "Not your day is it?" Hawkgirl is the best.
- Is the name of the game to destroy as many world national heritage sites as possible? The Pyramids and the Easter Island statues never stood a chance.
- The revelation that the Thanagarians worshipped Icthultu is a little contrived but oh well. It makes the episode all the more emotionally devastating.
- Wow, this is the first time we've heard Hawkgirl's name (Shayera Hol), we'll hear it a lot more from now on.
- How the fuck did they make Grundy's death tragic? This show.
- Born on a Monday, goddamn.

Fights

Mercenaries vs. Grundy
- Result: The fight is interrupted by Aquaman of all people.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Mercenaries

Diana, Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Leviathan
- Result: Hawkgirl smashes its head in and causes it to flee.
- Decision: DIana, Hawkgirl and Superman victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Inza
- Result: It sure is lucky her mace is magic-resistant
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious

Superman vs. Grundy
- Result: What an unnecessary fight this is.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Diana vs. Aquaman
- Result: Aquaman has no excuse not to try and explain things since he isn't a swamp zombie. But no, they gotta fight anyway. Anyway, Aquaman drowns Diana.
- Decision: Aquaman victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Doctor Fate
- Result: Why does no just fucking tell the Justice League they're trying to stop Cthulhu Icthultu? I wish Hawkgirl had just caved his head in.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Hawkgirl

Superman vs. Aquaman
- Result: At least Superman is aware of how retarded this all is.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Diana, Doctor Fate, Grundy, Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Screaming Golems
- Result: Grundy smash crush
- Decision: Diana, Doctor Fate, Grundy, Hawkgirl and Superman victorious

Aquaman and Atlantean Fleet vs. Leviathans
- Result: Even with reinforcements from marine life (...), things look dire for Aquaman and Atlantis. Somehow Aquaman turns it around and drives the Leviathans back through the portal
- Decision: Aquaman and Atlantean Fleet victorious

Diana, Doctor Fate, Grundy and Superman vs. Abominations
- Result: Grundy eventually decides to go after Icthultu. The others hold off the monsters until they are joined by Aquaman, who suggests they plug the portal.
- Decision: Diana, Doctor Fate, Grundy and Superman (and Aquaman) victorious

Grundy vs. Icthultu Inner Beast
- Result: Grundy slays the beast but the strain leaves him fatally wounded.
- Decision: Grundy victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Icthultu
- Result: Hawkgirl smash
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious


J'onn Owned Count: 38

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Hawkgirl

BTW i remember you commenting on why Grundy wants gold, they pretty much give the reason why in this episode IIRC. The episode is genuinely sad although there is one thats even sadder then this.

Dr Fate seems like he'd probably be broken as hell, I wonder if thats why he doesn't realyl show up in the series, his outfit is cool but he seems a bit dumb, and i like the fact he's too much of a snob to bother telling the 'distractions' why they should stop attacking. Aquaman really does come off as a complete dick in this episode though, and he was so badass in the first one. Also found it quite funny wonder woman messes up supes so bad in season 1 (admittedly he wasn't hitting her), when aquaman beats her in this and supes apparently beating up aquaman was so obvious they did it off screen or it lasted a second or two i can't remember it.

Secret Society - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- J'onn's developing a bit of an arrogant streak. Dick.
- I remember loving the end fight of this episode, but that's about all I remember.
- The idea of running drills and working together as a cohesive unit isn't a bad idea.
- Jennifer Hale is everywhere in this show. She's Giganta and Killer Frost.
- "Time," said Batman antisocially. He's just annoyed because he's gonna have to foot the bill for those battle droids.
- Haha, Batman kill steals.
- Oh man Clayface. Haven't seen him in forever.
- I remember an episode of Batman The Animated Series where Clayface was trying to prevent himself from dying and Batman not only stopped him but also ruined his life and dumped him in the ocean. Batman's a dick.
- I am happy that they're at least lampshading the fact that Superman always has to take a beating, no matter who he is fighting.
- "Wish I'd thought of that. Oh wait, I did." Batman you smug bastard. Too bad the Justice League gets their ass kicked.
- Superman has a point, he was beaten only because he was distracted by saving Hawkgirl and John.
- J'onn hates it when his mommies and daddies argue.
- Flash interrogating people like Batman is my favorite ever. Flash is the best.
- "You overplayed your part, yo."
- J'onn is actually ridiculously cool all of a sudden. No more getting bitch slapped around, now he's one of the few consistently competent ones.
- I love the Secret Society mimicking the poses of the Justice League in the show's intro.
- The fight at the end is so good.

Fights

John and J'onn vs. Shade and Friends
- Result: Shade escapes but his grunts are captured.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage John and J'onn

Hawkgirl vs. Battle Droids
- Result: Hawkgirl easily crushes them both, but one is bobby trapped and she is caught in the explosion.
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious

Batman, Diana and Flash vs. Battle Droids
- Result: Batman decides teamwork is for chumps and kills everything himself.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Secret Society vs. Guards
- Result: If the guards could hit anything but the ground around the Secret Society's feet they might have won.
- Decision: Secret Society victorious

Superman vs. Green Lantern's Goliath
- Result: Superman wins but Green Lantern points out that Superman always has to get knocked around first.
- Decision: Superman victorious.

Justice League vs. Secret Society
- Result: A combination of factors (mostly their concern for their allies) leads to the Justice League getting their asses kicked.
- Decision: Secret Society victorious

Flash vs. Sinestro
- Result: Technically we don't see the end of this fight, but Sinestro must have won.
- Decision: Sinestro victorious

Batman vs. Clayface and Sinestro
- Result: Batman sees right through their trap and takes them both down effortlessly.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Diana, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman vs. Battle Droids
- Result: Despite being led into a trap, the four of them easily dispatch the droids.
- Decision: Diana, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman victorious

Diana, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman vs. Secret Society
- Result: Diana, Hawkgirl and Superman are all taken down but J'onn manages to trick the Secret Society into thinking he is Clayface.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Secret Society

John vs. Secret Society and J'onn
- Result: John tries his best but he is eventually overwhelmed. J'onn (as Clayface) manages to subdue him non-lethally.
- Decision: J'onn victorious (technically)

Justice League vs. Secret Society
- Result: J'onn frees the Justice League from their shackles. Watch the fight yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEdqcPs8h68&t=244
- Decision: Justice League victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 40

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: J'onn

Hereafter - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- This episode is ambitious and I like it a lot. Plus it actually develops Vandal Savage in an interesting way and that's never a bad thing. And Lobo, can't forgot Lobo.
- Weather Wizard got a buff from his appearance in STAS. In that he was just a dude who could sort of control the weather. Now he can sense shit in air patterns and what not.
- I'm just gonna say this here: Toyman is terrifying.
- The official name for the group of supervillains Metallo, Kallibak, Livewire, Toyman and Weather Wizard according to the DCAU wiki is the Superman Revenge Squad... well, alright then.
- "There are so many reasons why that shouldn't have worked." Flash is the best.
- Is it just me or did Livewire just disappear? I don't remember her fighting the Justice League or being beaten or even her running away.
- Metallo doesn't show up again in this episode set. How far did Flash throw him?
- Man this episode gets dark quickly. The moment of silence after Superman is hit with the 'disintegrator' beam is beautiful.
- I think the best thing about this episode is it comes after the previous one, where it was clear that Superman had a real problem with the League because he always felt it was his duty to take the hits he knew his friends couldn't handle. It's completely accidental, since the two episodes sets were aired in the opposite order of when they were produced but it was good accident.
- Wait a minute, 400 countries? That's almost double what we have (if you count all sovereign states as countries).
- Although Batman's faith is endearing, it's also somewhat insane that he'd watch slow motion replays of his friend's death over and over.
- I might as well take this moment to say I love the running theme that Superman and Batman have probably the strongest friendship in the series. World's Finest, indeed. This is of course somewhat undermined by their frosty relationship in Batman Beyond, but fuck Batman Beyond. That was just an exercise in giving Batman the most nihilistic future possible.
- This can't be Alfred's first appearance in Justice League can it? Wow.
- If there's one trope I hate, it's 'hysterical woman pounding ineffectually on someone's chest before being pulled into a hug'. It always looks so stupid and embarrassing.
- So no one questions Johnathan and Martha Kent's presence at the funeral? "How did you know Superman?" "Uh..."
- Also Alfred and Tim Drake. Wow they just don't give a shit about this secret identity business.
- First Supergirl appearance, even if it is just cameo. Took her long enough.
- I am almost certain that this episode is the first time we see J'onn laugh. It is terrifying.
- Lobo is hilarious.
- Again, reiterating that I love the Batman and Superman relationship. No homo.
- "Awful brave talk for a dead man."
- Lobo stacking cars on top of Kallibak until he gives up is why he's one of my favorites in the DCAU.
- I'm interested to know if his childhood in Kansas prepared Superman for being able to: forage for items, drive a car, build a fire, survive in the desert, forge a sword (???), kill direwolves, fashion a wolfskin cloak, and mush sled wolves. How awful Kansas must be if he knows how to do all these things.
- Come to think of it, he's not really Superman when Earth has a red sun. While he's in the future, I'm calling him Clark.
- "I guess this is where we find out who's top dog." Oh god, shut up Clark you loser.
- If Superman is Comm Link 02, I wonder who is 01. Batman presumably, but it could also be J'onn. Actually, Batman would never let anyone else be 01.
- Huh, so it seems like Aquaman eventually replaced Superman. Not for long though if Vandal Savage's story is to be believed.
- "On your feet, Mr Wizard. We've got work to do." Mr Wizard?
- 30,000 years by himself and the best weapon Vandal can equip himself with in times of need is a dinky little handgun.
- Vandal didn't think to tell Superman that Batman was going to be assassinated? What a dick.
- And there he goes, Lobo flies away never to be seen again. Damn.

Fights

Toyman vs. Police
- Result: Exploding plungers? How are plungers a toy?
- Decision: Toybot victorious

Justice League vs. Superman Revenge Squad
- Result: The Justice League is triumphant but Superman is seemingly killed while protecting his friends from Toyman's 'disintegrator' beam
- Decision: Justice League victorious (if Superman had actually died, I would have given it to Superman Revenge Squad since they technically succeeded in their goal)

Lobo vs. Justice League
- Result: Lobo is eventually beaten but not before demonstrating his potential as a replacement to Superman, crass though he may be.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Batman vs. Copperhead, Deadshot, Kallibak, Livewire, Star Sapphire and Volcana
- Result: Bats is hopelessly outnumbered but manages to deal with the two non-super powered villains before being taken down.
- Decision: Copperhead, Deadshot, Kallibak, Livewire, Star Sapphire and Volcana victorious

Justice League (and Lobo) vs. Copperhead, Deadshot, Kallibak, Livewire, Star Sapphire and Volcana
- Result: That pile of cars was like twenty stacks high.
- Decision: Justice League (and Lobo) victorious

Clark vs. Direwolves
- Result: Clark prevails after killing the pack leader.
- Decision: Clark victorious

Clark and Vandal vs. Roach Mound
- Result: Things look bad until the zero point generator provides Clark with the same radiation of a yellow sun and allows him the use of his powers again.
- Decision: Superman and Vandal victorious

Batman and Superman vs. Deadshot
- Result: Seriously a heads up would have been nice Savage.
- Decision: Batman and Superman victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 41

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Vandal Savage

Comfort and Joy

Notes

- The first and only stand alone episode of Justice League. They'll become much more frequent in Unlimited.
- Ah, it's a Christmas episode. I don't remember this episode at all.
- Oh wait that's a lie. I remember J'onn having Christmas dinner with the Kents.
- Flash is the best for spending his Christmas with orphans, but doesn't he have a family?
- Ah, Kara is 'skiing' with Barbara. Right.
- I said before that I like episodes that deal with what it's like to be a superhero doing day-to-day things. A laid back character episode is a-okay for me, especially since I know what's coming up.
- Oh, this episode's coming back to me now. I remember John and Hawkgirl going to a dive bar and getting into a fight.
- "... You mean Santa wrapped them." Possibly the most sinister Superman has ever sounded.
- I have the dopiest smile on my face while watching this. It's so saccharine but whatever haters.
- Hawkgirl is the best. We should all take care to remember that with what happens soon.
- Batman doesn't deserve a happy christmas story.
- Humanite's Ducky toy is the scariest thing.
- I take it back, J'onn ululating death choir is.

Fights

Hawkgirl and John vs. Bar Patrons
- Result: Hawkgirl's a treat.
- Decision: It's all in the spirit of fun.

Flash vs. Humanite
- Result: A Christmas truce is called.
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Count: 42

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Flash

Wild Cards - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- Wild Card, bitches!
- This episode set is one of the top three showings for the Joker in the DCAU. The other two are his role in Mask of the Phantasm and Return of the Joker. He is simultaneously a. funny, b. dangerous, c. scary, just like the Joker should be.
- Also, Harley!
- John C. McGinley I would recognize your voice anywhere. I wonder why they got him for such a small role.
- I'm glad everyone takes the Joker seriously in this episode, which I think is part of the reason why he feels so dangerous in this episode (and thus why it's one of his best showings). Just Batman namedropping him is enough to get the television executive to cut the feed for his station.
- "Oh, what were you expecting from me? A round number?"
- Joker's grunt of disgust when the camera focuses briefly on Queen's crotch is priceless.
- More Cadmus foreshadowing, even if it was unintentional at the time.
- First appearance of Ace aka the one who will give Batman one of his best moments down the line.
- Holy shit, the "....25!?" reveal is perfect. Like I said, one of the best Joker episodes.
- Where is J'onn and Wonder Woman for all this?
- Joker you cad. John makes good on his word that he would die for Hawkgirl.
- Harley owns. Nice try though, Bats.
- You know Superman, if your opponent is invincible but can feel pain then you can use that heat vision of yours to burn him without any effort on your part.
- Ah, the "Stop hitting yourself" tactic. A cunning strategy, Superman.
- Flash decides that disarming the bomb is too hard and simply transports the bomb to a deserted area while it explodes in his hands. Flash is the best.
- Oh, now Superman decides to trap 10 in molten metal. That's not horrifying.
- Goddamn do I love the Batman/Harley/Joker dynamic.
- Batman can survive been dosed with fear toxin, he should be shrugging off Ace's mental assault.
- Come to think of it, the best twist they could have done would be to have Batman invulnerable to Ace's powers just like Joker is. The implicit reason would be fantastic.
- Turns out Joker isn't as invulnerable as he thought. The strange thing is it's almost like they want us to think Ace permanently mindfucks the Joker, even though we know this isn't his last chronological appearance in the DCAU. Oh well, I guess he got better.
- It sure is lucky that Hawkgirl turns out to be hot isn't it.
- Their relationship doesn't even last one episode. Starcrossed indeed.

Fights

Justice League vs. Royal Flush Gang
- Result: The League deals with the Royal Flash Gang while Batman disarms the first bomb.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Batman vs. Jack
- Result: Batman throws Jack into a helicopter propeller, lol.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Superman vs. 10
- Result: "Hold that thought." I wish Superman was always this
- Decision: Superman victorious

Hawkgirl and John vs. Queen
- Result: Queen tries to fight Hawkgirl on her terms and gets whooped.
- Decision: Hawkgirl and John victorious

Flash vs. King
- Result: Flash mummifies King.
- Decision: Flash victorious

Flash and Superman vs. 10 and King
- Result: King flees and Superman keeps 10 occupied while Flash tries to disarm the bomb.
- Decision: Flash and Superman victorious

Joker vs. Harley
- Result: Tough love. Poor Harley.
- Decision: Joker victorious

Batman vs. Joker
- Result: Ace's powers wreak havoc on Batman but he still manages to snatch Ace's power dampener from Joker. When Ace realizes Joker planned to betray her she turns on him.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Ace vs. Joker
- Result: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfQ0ORwSDM&t=504
- Decision: Ace victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 42

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

Starcrossed - Part 1, 2 and 3

Notes

- There's gonna be a lot to talk about for this episode.
- Superman is dressed in his Phoenix Wright outfit.
- It's some kind of Hawk... man!
- Hawkgirl: "Hawkward...."
- Of course the French Ambassador wants to acquiesce. It's 2004 and the US hates France.
- All of the Thanagarians (even Hawkgirl) are vaguely hispanic sounding. Hro Talak sounds like George Lopez.
- Shit, Batman is a giant. Last episode we found out he's 6'2, but he's significantly taller than John so either Batman's really like 6'5 or John is like 5'8.
- Batman: "Sorry about the girl feels bro, but why don't you deal with it."
- An unhealthy amount of time on this show just seems to be Hawkgirl eating weird stuff.
- Ha, Diana tried to reflect a shot from a Thanagarian rifle and was shocked. That's what happens you rely on one tactic for every fight.
- They keep using the same one frame of animation of an explosion for whenever a punch connects or something blows up. I've counted it at least four times now.
- Five.
- What is it with J'onn and electricity all of a sudden? Aren't Martians supposed to be weak to fire?
- Damn Hawkgirl, dick move.
- I am fucking sick of writing the word Thanagarian.
- So... who's seen The Birds?
- Haha, all of the Justice League have special cells designed to nullify their powers and Batman's just in a plain cell with some handcuffs. Foiled again, Bats.
- Diana's escape was all kinds of implausible.
- ... when you're not strong~
- Now there's the same blue flash of light every time a hit connects. When you notice it you can't unsee it.
- While the Justice League is sneaking around, Flash could literally just run so fast that no one could see him. He could also vibrate through walls or blow them all up by touching them but this is in a fantasy world where Flash isn't arbitrarily restricted.
- Batman is such a show off.
- It sure was lucky that J'onn had a camera with him. Lucky and suspicious.
- Alfred should set up shop on the Watchtower. He's great.
- I love that Hawkgirl just ignores all the other members of the League and just talks to Batman since she knows he's the only who has his head in the game.
- How the hell did Hawkgirl know where the Batcave was?
- "Wait for it." Oh Batman.
- Batman you're just going to leave all those unconscious Thanagarians in your secret lair with all your supercomputers and superweapons?
- Flash is the best, though Batman probably disagrees.
- "I'll just have to try... harder." Bad touch, J'onn. Bad touch.
- "I've asked Master Bruce to refrain from leaving trash in the yard." Dyamn, Alfred. Dyamn.
- I love Batman's blast knuckles. He should wear them all the time.
- Batman you are the best kind of crazy. "Gentlemen, it's been an honor."
- John, instead of being a loser and saying "Kiss my axe", why don't you put your ring against his chest and form of lance of energy straight through his heart? Fight over. World saved.
- Apparently power rings can be broken. Looks like whats-her-face was wrong. Katma? Yeah that sounds about right.
- Hro Talak and literally every single Thanagarian: "I have to go now. My planet needs me."
- I remember that the outcome of the vote on whether to allow Hawkgirl back into the League is revealed at some point, but I can't remember who voted for what.
- Flash is the only one to hug Hawkgirl goodbye. Flash is the best.
- That ending is such a punch in the gut.

Fights

Airforce vs. Gordanian Battleship
- Result: Puny missiles.
- Decision: Gordanian Battleship victorious

Justice League vs. Gordanian Battleship
- Result: Hawkgirl recognizes the ship and tries to warn her teammates, but the ship's various defenses of the ship force them to regroup.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Gordanian Battleship

Gordanian Battleship vs Thanagarian Fleet
- Result: This is some Independence Day shit right here.
- Decision: Thanagarian Fleet victorious

Batman vs. Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: Batman manages to relay the Thanagarians' deception to Diana but is quickly incapacitated soon after.
- Decision: Thanagarians Soldiers victorious

Diana vs. Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: Hera forsook her.
- Decision: Thangarian Soldiers victorious

US Military vs. Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: Thanagarian technology disables the military's weapons, leaving them vulnerable and forcing them to surrender.
- Decision: Thanagarian Soldiers

Flash, John, J'onn and Superman vs. Hawkgirl, Hro Talak and Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: The Thanagarians use weapons specifically designed to neutralize each of the Justice League. Hawkgirl blindsides John and knocks him unconscious.
- Decision: Hawkgirl, Hro Talak and Thanagarian Soldiers victorious

Justice League vs. Thanagarian Guards
- Result: Diana frees herself in a horribly contrived way and eventually the League makes their escape.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Bruce and Diana vs. Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: Yeah, he's Bruce for now. They manages to evade capture thanks to the help of a kindly restaurant owner.
- Decision: Bruce and Diana victorious

Justice League vs. Kragger's Strike Force
- Result: Unparalleled beat down.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Batman, Flash and J'onn vs. Thanagarian Soldiers
- Result: Home field advantage is not a myth
- Decision: Batman, Flash and J'onn victorious

Diana, John and Superman vs. Thanagarian Fleet
- Result: Welcome to Earf.
- Decision: Diana, John and Superman victorious

John vs. Hro Talak
- Result: Hro Talak breaks John's power ring and prepares to execute him when Hawkgirl stops him.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Hro Talak

Hawkgirl vs. Hro Talak
- Result: Smack my hawk up.
- Decision: Hro Talak victorious

John vs. Hro Talak
- Result: John tricks Hro Talak into striking the forcefield with his axe, which destroys the forcefield and leaves Hro Talak unconscious.
- Decision: John victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 44

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Heroes: Batman, Hawkgirl, John.

Quote :

- Is it just me or did Livewire just disappear? I don't remember her fighting the Justice League or being beaten or even her running away.

She jumps into some phone wires and flash grabs them and puts them in a pool of water and this somehow electrocutes her. Basically flash does everything if it was too fast to remember.

Initiation

Notes

- And we've reached Justice League Unlimited. Most episodes are now stand alones, which means I can crank them out a lot faster because story fatigue won't be as much a problem.
- Hell yeah, Green Arrow. Also known as Fun Batman. Or Liberal Batman. Or Has-parents Batman.
- John trades his crewcut for a goatee. Goatees are symbolic for heartbreak I guess.
- In JLU, the Watchtower pretty much becomes cameosville. All that matters it that I saw The Question in the background briefly. The Question is the best. The Bestion if your will.
- Also the new opening sucks with the whole "show the episode before you watch it" thing. In fact, other than the original BTAS opening, all the DCAU have shitty openings.
- And the shoddy use of 3D modelling is invasive and doesn't mesh well with the animation style at all.
- Now that he's based in the Watchtower, J'onn basically never does anything again. All that owning finally took it's toll I guess.
- Another thing that thing I dislike about JLU is how contrived the story has to be to justify why some characters get to appear and some don't. Did you know that Flash doesn't actually speak for 14 episodes? What the fuck is that.
- Since the Justice League gathered all the heroes they could find onto the Watchtower, it would have been a really good time for a supervillain to make their move.
- The music for this episode is like what would happen if you took Queen's soundtrack for the movie Flash, mixed all the riffs together and then played the result regardless of whether it fit the scene or not. What I'm trying to say is that the music in this show sucks all of a sudden.
- "I think you're what I marched against back in college." Snap son.
- What the hell is Green Arrow attaching the other end of his tether arrows to? And how?
- Captain Atom's power is pretty much to blow himself up trying to absorb his enemies' power every time.
- It doesn't even cross their minds to tell the rest of the League there's an out of control nuclear robot on the loose.
- Actually, Captain Atom says to contact the League, but only after he's dies trying their stupid dangerous plan.
- Wow, it sure is lucky that Green Arrow was there since the only way to defeat the nuclear behemoth was to insert those conveniently aerodynamic control rods into it's reactor core. If not for him, they'd have had to call the League and have them deal with it in a much less contrived manner.
- The stand alone nature of JLU is a real double-edged sword. This episode suffered majorly from pacing issues as it struggled to fit everything in. I will attribute it to growing pains since I know the show gets better later on.

Fights

Green Arrow vs. Robbers
- Result: I can't claim to know if Green Arrow's affinity for bows is supernatural in some respect, but had he simply decided to put all that time into learning how to shoot with guns he'd be a lot more effective.
- Decision: Green Arrow victorious

John vs. Chong-Mai Soldiers
- Result: Imagine I made a clever Vietnam reference here.
- Decision: John victorious

Green Arrow vs. Emboar Brimstone
- Result: A gun would be useful right about now I bet.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Brimstone

Captain Atom vs. Magmortar Brimstone
- Result: "I tried to absorb its energy but there was too much." - Captain Atom's epitaph someday.
- Decision: Brimstone victorious

John vs. Brimstone
- Result: Flamethrower is super effective.
- Decision: Brimstone victorious

Captain Atom, Green Arrow and Supergirl vs. Brimstone
- Result: Captain Atom almost dies, Supergirl flies around, Green Arrow shoots his bow. Business as normal.
- Decision: Captain Atom, Green Arrow and Supergirl victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 44

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Green Arrow

For The Man Who Has Everything

Notes

- Now this is more like it. Then again, it's based on one of best comic book stories of all time and it's tough to fuck up an Alan Moore story (but far from impossible, see the movie adaption of V for Vendetta and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Watchmen...)
- Oh god the show opening is so terrible.
- The writers for the show really slipped up. In War World, Mongul was a pushover and by the end of that episode everyone present could kick his ass. Here, he's suddenly Captain Megacock and ready to fuck up up everyone's day.
- Superman's imaginary son is a total twink.
- Well well well, if it isn't Howie scream.
- I can't believe you didn't see that coming Bats.
- The DCAU is insistent on making Kevin Conroy voice everything important to Batman's life. He voices Batman, his dad, the first voice you hear in Batman's first episode (almost), the last voice you hear in Epilogue and he voices Joe Chill, the guy who shoots Batman's parents.
- Superman is all kinds of mad.
- I wish they'd taken the opportunity to give Starro a cameo while they were in Superman's biodome, if only to assuage any fears that it was possessing Superman for decades.
- A truly chilling ending SUDDENLY OUT OF PLACE POWER RIFF DUNUHUHNUHNUHNUUUUUH

Fights

Batman and Diana vs. Mongul
- Result: Mongul is suddenly powerful enough to make Diana his bitch (even though Wonder Woman's always been on par with Superman and... oh never mind) so Batman gives up trying to fight him and focuses on rescuing Superman from the Black Mercy.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Mongul

Superman vs. Mongul
- Result: Superman thrashes Mongul (though not as easily as he was able to in War World) until he is distracted by the statues of his parents. Mongul gains the advantage and prepares to crush Superman when suddenly Diana appears and sticks the Black Mercy on him.
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Count: 44

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Diana

Superbuu3 wrote:

Quote :

- Is it just me or did Livewire just disappear? I don't remember her fighting the Justice League or being beaten or even her running away.

She jumps into some phone wires and flash grabs them and puts them in a pool of water and this somehow electrocutes her. Basically flash does everything if it was too fast to remember.

That happens the second time they fight, after Superman is 'killed'. The first time she just disappears.

it really was terrible

Hawk and Dove

Notes

- With the creation of the above video, I am officially retiring the J'onn Owned Count. I will be on the look out for other running gags that aren't totally crazy (ie. Wonder Woman Bullet Deflect Count or something)
- I remember this episode being pure Aesop rubbish.
- Do Hawk and Dove even have superpowers? They're not exactly owning these bar thugs. It turns out they do but just super-strength and super-speed AKA the bare minimum qualifications for being a superhero in the first place.
- This episode marks the first use of a swear being cut off that didn't sound dodgy. Only took fifty five episodes.
- There is no way for me to say this without it sounding strange, but (discounting The Man Who Has Everything) the early episodes of Justice League Unlimited feel like such a kid's show compared to Justice League. Everything is just so basic and streamlined that the show is "showing its colors" more if that makes any sense. The episodes have no room to breathe because of the constraints of the stand alone format and it's negatively impacting the presentation.
- Yes kids, peace is good.
- Ares: "I'll be back!" No you won't. Not ever.

Fights

Diana vs. Bank Robbers
- Result: Yeah, like she's going to lose.
- Decision: Diana victorious

Hawk and Dove vs. Bar Thugs
- Result: Hawk and Dove, that's the name of the episode!
- Decision: Hawk and Dove victorious

Diana and Hawk vs. Ser Robert Strong Annihilator
- Result: Diana recognizes Hephaestus' symbol on the armor and drags Hawk away from the battle.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Annihilator

Kaznians vs. Annihilator
- Result: Kaznia can't catch a break in the DCAU.
- Decision: Annihilator victorious

Dove vs. Annihilator
- Result: Not really a fight but whatevs.
- Decision: Dove victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Biggest Damn Hero: Dove

Fearful Symmetry

Notes

- Hey guys, remember Flash? Clearly the writers don't.
- First story in the Cadmus arc. Good, now the episodes will start picking up.
- First voice appearance of THE QUESTION, motherfuckers.
- I think I found my new running gag.
- If there's one thing DCAU does right it's continuity. Most of the kids watching the show when it first aired probably didn't ever remember the finale to STAS but this whole episode centers around what happens in it.
- Power Girl could never work in the DCAU so I appreciate the writers ingenuity in adapting parts of her character (the boobs, mostly) into Galatea.
- The downside to Question's Qomedy Quotes is that it's a lot of what Question does that makes him funny, not just what he says.
- Ah, the female stock scream. We meet again.
- The impact of Hamilton betraying Supergirl is probably lost on most people. That dude was Superman's bro for like all of STAS.

Fights

"Supergirl" vs. Assassins
- Result: She crushes them with a billboard sign.
- Decision: "Supergirl" victorious

"Supergirl" vs. Robot
- Result: Should've made the buzzsaw out of Kryptonite.
- Decision: "Supergirl" victorious

Green Arrow, Question and Supergirl vs. Cadmus Operatives and Robot
- Result: Technically we don't know they're Cadmus yet but eh.
- Decision: Green Arrow, Question and Supergirl victorious

Supergirl vs. Galatea
- Result: There can be only one. Except Cadmus decides there shouldn't be any and bombs the place.
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Question because I say so.

I'm enjoying this write-up, considering I've been watching a few episodes of Justice League.

Also, I liked the part where The Question hummed that pop song.

Kid Stuff

Notes

- Ah yes, this episode.
- Mordred is basically Joffrey incarnate: blonde hair, power hungry, a little bitch, seizes power from his mother (and his mother is crazy), has a crown even though he shouldn't, sadistic, arrogant, petulant, short-sighted, weak-willed, slightly rapey.
- KGBeast and Blockbuster are both minor league Batman villains who you've probably never heard of and rightly so. Both of their gimmicks is they've got superhuman strength and that's about it. Well KGBeast is Russian too so maybe he's a strong drinker too but that's just speculation.
- Fucking 'shadow realm'.
- Morgaine bathed Modred for millennia. Yup, just like Joffrey and Cersei.
- Eight year olds shouldn't dress like Wonder Woman.
- So like, we find out later that Diana was created as an adult from a clay statue. You'd think she's freak out about being a kid.
- The only remotely famous voice actor for the kid versions of the Justice League is Dakota Fanning who I swear appeared in every movie, cartoon or television show from about 2002 to 2005. She was ubiquitous.
- Batboy is the best thing about this episode. At least he knows how the Robins felt now.
- All the Batman and Diana stuff is great but all I can think of is lonely, tired 80 year old Bruce whose only companions are a dog and a crippling heart condition. Man fuck Batman Beyond.
- Babby John: "Man I hate magic!" So what, are Green Lantern rings not powered by magic then?
- Diana: "It was kind of enjoyable to be a kid again." Again. Uh oh, retcon.
- God Batman you are such a killjoy.

Fights

Batman, Diana, John and Superman vs. Blockbuster, Cheetah, Copperhead and KGBeast
- Result: These guys are so D-list that they've probably appeared more in Justice League than they did in the comics
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Batboy, Diana, John and Superboy vs. Modred's Kingsguard
- Result: Ser Barristan would be ashamed.
- Decision: Super Friends victorious

Batboy, Diana, John and Superboy vs. Babby Etrigan
- Result: There is no reason for Etrigan to be in this episode.
- Decision: Super Friends victorious

Batboy, Diana, John and Superboy vs. Modred
- Result: Eventually, they trick Morded into banishing himself and leave him at Morgaine's mercy.
- Decision: Super Friends victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Who cares. Batboy I guess, since it was probably his plan.

This Little Piggy

Notes

- Oh hey, you might not remember me.
- For being a whacky episode, this episode is actually really good.
- "Yeah, I've read the Odyssey." Smug know-it-all Batman is the best Batman.
- I really like Zatanna (and Paul Dini clearly does too since he married her). Her episode in BTAS was one of my favorites since it was one of the many episode that showed Batman becoming Batman.
- Also obligatory "Hey, it's Jennifer Hale!"
- I really like that they delayed the title text for the episode until you actually see Wonder Woman as a pig.
- So Diana's arm bracelets shrink to fit but her clothes and tiara and armored breastplate don't?
- Hey guys, remember Flash? The writers sure don't. I'm gonna keep pushing this until he appears.
- B'wana Beast is awesome.
- Am I blue?

Fights

Batman and Diana vs. Cersei Circe
- Result: Diana gets turned into a pig. Not a proud battle by any means.
- Decision: Circe victorious

Batman and Zatanna vs. Circe
- Result: A compromise is reached.
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

The Return

Notes

- I love this episode. Any episode focusing on Lex is bound to be good - especially when he has to work with the Justice Legaue.
- Amazo was already surpemely powerful at the end of Tabula Rasa. He's pretty much a god at this point.
- Oh my god I saw Flash! He doesn't speak but still... progress.
- Bald jokes shouldn't be so funny but lol.
- Lex Luthor is demonstrating some Batman levels of forward planning here. DCAU Luthor is the best Luthor.
- John C. McGinley should voice everybody.
- It's poor form to have both Captain Atom and the Atom in one episode.
- Don't worry guys! Captain Atom is here to save the d- oh down he goes.
- I heard a Heisenberg name drop. Yeah Mr. Luthor! Yeah science!
- They go through the effort to show Luthor wearing the cancer inhibitor at the start of the episode (and he even points it out) but then later show him with collar unbuttoned, revealing just an undershirt. C'mon, how did no one catch that.
- So uh... so much for Red Tornado right? Good luck salvaging him after Amazo finished with him.
- Flash appears again and still not so much as a peep out of him. What gives? He saves the day at the end of the season!
- Amazo should probably just not listen to Lex anymore. Damn good speech by Luthor though.
- I would quite happily watch a show about Dr. Fate, Amazo and Hawkgirl going on adventures. Shame the next time Amazo appears he is horribly nerfed.
- Hawkgirl's appeared for all of ten seconds and she's had more lines than the Flash!

Fights

Amazo vs. Green Lantern Corps
- Result: I'm sure the only reason he won is because he was yellow. Right? Right?
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Amazo vs. Space Team
- Result: Pretty much a god remember?
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Amazo vs. Sky Team
- Result: I can't believe there's a hero called Rocket Red. Is there a Waffle Blue somewhere?
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Amazo vs. Ground Team
- Result: Flash's voice is the source of his powers.
- Decision: Amazo victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Lex Luthor

The Greatest Story Never Told

Notes

- This episode is literally The Zeppo from Buffy. This is not a bad thing.
- Booster Gold should be god tier. If he had done even a little bit of research in his time he would have complete knowledge of everything that is going to go down for the rest of the series. He could have warned them about Darkseid's revival at least.
- Also Skeetz is Billy West and that's awesome.
- Wow, Booster Gold even name drops Darkseid. What a dick.
- I like how Shining Knight and Vigilante get priority over Booster Gold in fighting Mordru, even though they're both street-tier heroes and Booster Gold can fly and shoot laser beams.
- The effeminate transporter operator aboard the Watchtower is now my favorite character.
- I very briefly thought lesbian couple when the kid said Aunts (before realizing like Booster Gold that the kid meant Ants)
- I can't believe "gravitic" is a word.
- So were there people on that train?

Fights

Justice League vs. Mordru
- Result: Mordru is pacified off screen.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Elongated Man, apparently. Also Booster Gold.

Ultimen

Notes

- I had a whole write up for this episode and then hit Ctrl W and closed the tab. The gist was: Ultimen have stupid names. Wind Dragon has an annoying voice. Ultimen (except Long Shadow) were being dumb. Batman's go go gadget copter looked utterly ridiculous. Glad Cadmus is picking up again. First appearance of Amanda Waller. Diana's lazy. Why bother saving Long Shadow if he's never going to appear again. Still no Flash.

Fights

Don't want to write them out again.

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Long Shadow, I guess.

Dark Heart

Notes

- This episode is brilliant and really kicks the Cadmus arc into high gear.
- Could Green Lantern not just put a bubble around the Dark Heart to keep the scavenger robots from spreading?
- J.K Simmons should be in everything more often. He's the perfect voice for army-types.
- No matter how you swing it, the Watchtower's orbital cannon is pretty fucked up.
- I like how Superman is the only one to stare directly at the cannon's laser. Yeah, like he gives a fuck about burned retinas.
- I love the Atom. John C. McGinley's voice sells the role so well.
- "Batman to all points. I could use some air support... since I can't fly.... at all. Now would be good."
- Dr. Fate is there, fighting the Dark Heart along with everyone else. Guess he didn't think Amazo would be useful to bring along, what with his ability to transport matter to other dimensions.

Fights

US Military vs. Dark Heart
- Result: When has the military ever done anything ever in this cartoon?
- Decision: Dark Heart victorious

Justice League vs. Dark Heart
- Result: The fight against the Dark Heart spans pretty much the entire episode. I'm not going to summarize it.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

J'onn Owned Final Count: 44

Question's Qomedy Quotes:

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: The Atom