Justice League Watchthrough

Justice League is pretty much the best superhero cartoon ever and I've been meaning to watch it again for a while now.

I don't mean for this to be nearly as indepth as my Buffy watchthrough, but I hope to try and give each episode a general rundown and will probably end up pointing anything else I like/dislike about it as well. I will definitely be keeping track of the number of times Martian Manhunter gets his ass kicked though. Seriously, it's ridiculous how much he jobs when he's supposed to be Superman with mind powers.

If there's any other random gags or things I feel like keeping track of, I probably will.

Secret Origins Part 1, 2 and 3

Notes

- The intro for Justice League is so lame. The music is good, but the rudimentary flash animation is just silly.
- It sure is considerate of the Doppelgangers to let their prisoners keep their underwear.
- J'onn believes the best way to get Batman to trust him is to put on some clothes. A wise policy.
- Batman recognizes Hawkgirl. That kind of goes against her back story, don't you think?
- Okay, so the armored breastplate, tiara and bracelets that Wonder Woman wears were taken from a shrine of Athena. The star-spangled underwear were hers then?
- Flash is the best. Get used to me saying this.
- J'onn just stands there and lets himself be cattle prodded. He's such a dope.
- Batman gets the first Big Damn Heroes moment of the series. It's only right.
- I love how The Watchtower is built entirely off screen.

Fights

Batman and Superman vs. Three Doppelgangers
- Result: Superman rendered unable to fight by outside interference. Fight interrupted by an explosion. The Doppelgangers casually make their escape.
- Decision: Inconclusive.

Batman vs. Doppeldog
- Result: Batman knocked unconscious, crushed under a bookcase.
- Decision: Doppeldog victorious.

Batman and Superman vs. Three Tripods
- Result: Superman called away by outside interference. Batman follows.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Tripods.

Justice League vs. Doppelganger horde
- Result: Superman, Batman and J'onn struggle to repel the attack but are saved by last second reinforcements from Hawgirl, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman.
- Decision: Justice League victorious.

Green Lantern and Flash vs. Three Tripods
- Result: Green Lantern disables one Tripod but is incapacitated by yellow nerve gas. Flash flees with Green Lantern in tow.
- Decision: Tripods victorious.

Hawkgirl and Superman vs. A Doppelganger Base.
- Result: Hawkgirl smashes through a horde of Doppelgangers but she and Superman are incapacitated and captured.
- Decision: Doppelganger Base victorious.

Wonder Woman vs. Tripod
- Result: Wonder Woman lassos the Tripod and renders it unable to fight.
- Decision: Wonder Woman victorious.

Wonder Woman, Batman and J'onn vs. A Doppelganger Base
- Result: J'onn is incapacitated, Batman is seemingly killed and Wonder Woman is forced to flee with J'onn in tow.
- Decision: Doppelganger Base victorious.

Flash vs. Tripod
- Result: Flash tricks it into stepping on an alien mine.
- Decision: Flash victorious.

J'onn vs. Two Doppelgangers
- Result: J'onn recorporealizes whilst his arms are elbow deep inside the Doppelgangers.
- Decision: J'onn victorious.

Justice League vs. The Imperium and the Doppelganger Horde
- Result: The rest of the Justice League are freed by Batman, who sabotages the Doppelganger Base's power core. The combined might of the Justice League overwhelms the Doppelganger Horde and the Imperium is destroyed.
- Decision: Justice League victorious.

J'onn Owned Count: 4

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

In Blackest Night - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- J'onn is such a buzz kill. Flash, go find better friends.
- One of my favorite parts of the show is Flash's banter with his team mates. I really like how his and Hawkgirl's platonic relationship develops.
- I like how casual the show is about explaining why some characters don't appear in some episodes. "Oh Wonder Woman is busy and Batman's a dick. Let's go on an awesome space adventure wheeeeee!"
- J'onn went down without doing anything against the Manhunters. No wonder his entire race died.
- So I'm confused, how long ago was the planet 'destroyed'? Was it immediately before the events of the episode or was it some time ago? In either case, why would Green Lantern return to Earth? Was he attempting to escape? Did he not know that they would send people after him, potentially threatening human lives? This children's cartoon makes no sense!
- Flash is the best. Everything Flash does during the trial is amazing.
- I like how they built a spacesuit to accomadate Hawkgirl's wings.
- So I guess Green Lantern is just going to carry the others all the way back to Earth himself. Wouldn't the oxygen in the bubble run out almost immediately?

Fights

Flash, Hawgirl, J'onn and Supeman vs. The Manhunters
- Result: J'onn is taken down in about ten seconds. The Manhunters have the advantage until Superman arrives. The fight escalates until Green Lantern steps in and surrenders himself.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Justice League.

Flash, Hawgirl, J'onn and Supeman vs. Alien Figher Pilots
- Result: Justice League take down all of their opponents without difficulty.
- Decision: Justice League victorious.

Hawkgirl vs. Gallius Zed, Arkkis Chummuck, Larvox and Tomar Re
- Result: All participants fight unarmed using only their fists. Hawkgirl kicks their asses until Kilowog calls an end to it.
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious.

Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, J'onn, Superman and the Green Lantern Corps vs. The Manhunter Army
- Result: The Justice League cuts through the Manhunters with ease, but there are thousands of them. Green Lantern eventually taps into the power source of the Green Lanterns and obliterates all of the Manhunters.
- Decision: Justice League and Green Lantern Corps Victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 5

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Green Lantern

Brilliant topic i'll join in on this later. I'm thinking a few of us can watch it, i'll let you know when we're watching.

Yeah I'd be up for that. Especially since I haven't seen it.

The Enemy Below - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- Also known as the first appearance of Aquaman, who is a complete badass in the DCAU.
- Aquaman just strolls out of the water (Westworld style) and straight into the world assembly. Like I said, badass.
- I like how the writers get around explaining things by just having Batman do some wordplay.
- Deadshot's cool and all, but he's straight street-thug tier and he still gives Superman, J'onn and Wonder Woman a real run for their money.
- I like the running gag that Batman can break anyone simply by threatening them.
- Aquaman totally got Eddard'd.
- I like that Batman isn't cool enough to go on an awesome undersea adventure.
- If I was completely insane, I would do a running tally of the number of times Wonder Woman uses her arm bracelets to deflect projectiles because it literally happens every single time she fights.
- Aquaman totally Jaime'd himself. Like I said, a badass.
- Aquaman survived getting shot with rocket launcher, how far would Orm have to fall for it to be fatal? Especially since he will almost certainly land in water.
- So uh... what happened to Deadshot?

Fights

USS Defiant vs. Aquaman's Submarine (?)
- Result: USS Defiant disabled.
- Decision: Aquaman's Submarine (?) victorious

Green Lantern, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Aquman's Submarine and Escort
- Result: Escort disabled, though the Justice League finds themselves surrounded. Fighting ends with a parley.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Aquaman vs. Deadshot
- Result: Aquaman is shot with a rocket launcher and goes down for the count.
- Decision: Deadshot victorious

Green Lantern vs. Aquaman
- Result: Aquaman sucker punches Green Lantern and knocks him out.
- Decision: Aquaman victorious

Batman, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Deadshot
- Result: Deadshot flees while the Justice League gives chase. He manages to give them trouble but Superman eventually runs him down. Deadshot surrenders.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Aquaman vs. Orm and his Royal Guard
- Result: Aquaman struggles in vain but is quickly subdued by Orm's lightning trident.
- Decision: Orm and his Royal Guard victorious

Green Lantern, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Atlantean Fleet
- Result: The Justice League make quick work of the small fry (eh? eh!?) but are incapacitated by depth charges.
- Decision: Atlantean Fleet victorious

Aquaman vs. His left hand
- Result: Um.
- Decision: Aquaman victorious!

Aquaman, Green Lantern, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Atlantean Fleet
- Result: Green Lantern and Aquaman leave the battle in order to pursue Orm. The remaining team disables the rest of the fleet.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Aquaman vs. Orm
- Result: The two fighters appear equally matched until the ground beneath Orm crumbles. Aquaman lets him fall.
- Decision: Aquaman victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 6

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman (with the help of Green Lantern)

Injustice For All - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- First appearance of Lex. The DCAU does a great job of making him the best character villain (Flash is the best)
- Batman can't even escape a burning building without help. Get it together, Bats.
- The Shade's ability is basically just to summon Zalgo. Oh well, it's better than Copperhead who's so bland that his terrible costume is listed as one of his special abilities on DCAU wiki.
- What the hell does Grundy need money for? Clothes?
- I love that the hostage negotiator offers one of his men to take the place of a hostage, not himself. What a dick he must be.
- I rag on J'onn for getting owned every episode, but Superman is almost as bad. I guess they kind of justify later with "World Made Of Cardboard".
- At least J'onn was smart enough to avoid the confrontation at the end of the episode.
- Seriously, Batman doesn't carry antivenom in that belt of his? Adam West would be ashamed.
- Ahaha, I fucking love J'onn trying to have a dad talk ("It's okay to be... not special.") while Batman ignores him and tracks down Lex and the others.
- I am so glad they decided to redesign the Joker again and fix how he looked in The New Batman Adventures. Also Mark Hamill!
- Batman decides the best thing to do is to seduce Cheetah. Considering it doesn't help him at all means he lost his dignity for nothing.
- J'onn is fucking telepathic and still decides to alert Humanite to his presence by exclaiming Batman's name. J'onn you must like being tazed.
- "Et tu, Humanite?" This fucking show, I swear. We don't deserve it.
- The BTAS theme musical sting when Batman disarms Joker... yup, perfect show.

Fights

Batman, Green Lantern, J'onn and Superman vs. Lex
- Result: Lex is caught in a sting operation but escapes in a fighter plane. He manages to evade capture briefly but is suddenly incapacitated by his cancer lol.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Humanite and Lex vs. Prison Guards
- Result: Humanite and Lex successfully escape the prison.
- Decision: Humanite and Lex victorious

Cheetah vs. Copperhead vs. Grundy vs. The Shade vs. Star Sapphire
- Result: Interrupted by Lex
- Decision: Inconclusive and stupid as hell

Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Cheetah, Copperhead, Humanite, Grundy, Lex Luthor, Star Sapphire and The Shade
- Result: The Justice League gets smacked around far too much considering only two of their opponents are superhuman. Batman knocks out Copperhead but is badly poisoned in the process. The rest of "Injustice Gang" (ugh) make their escape.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Injustice Gang

Batman vs. Joker
- Result: Batman is tricked into an ambush and knocked out by a bag full of rocks.
- Decision: Joker victorious

Humanite vs. Grundy
- Result: Batman manipulates the two of them into having fight about five seconds. Lex breaks them apart.
- Decision: Batman victorious (let's be honest)

J'onn vs. Grundy and The Shade
- Result: J'onn is blindsided thanks to The Shade's uh... shadow powers and knocked out by Grundy.
- Decision: Grundy and The Shade victorious

Joker vs. Cheetah
- Result: Joker uses his joy buzzer (heh, Batman Beyond) to incapacitate her.
- Decision: Joker victorious

J'onn vs. Humanite
- Result: J'onn decides to be the hero and fails miserably.
- Decision: Humanite victorious

Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Superman and Wonder Woman (and Humanite) vs. Grundy, Joker, Lex Luthor, Star Sapphire and The Shade
- Result: The Justice League overcomes the Injustice Gang with little difficulty. I guess Copperhead was the glue that held them all together; he should add that to his list of abilities on the DCAU wiki. Lex Luthor's battlesuit allows him to dominate Superman with little difficulty, however Humanite steps in and takes him down.
- Decision: Justice League (and Humanite) victorious.

Batman vs. Joker
- Result: Joker tries to execute Batman but finds Batman has already escapes his restraints. Batman admits he could have escaped at any time and then promptly takes the Joker down.
- Decision: Batman victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 9

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman.

Paradise Lost - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- A Wonder Woman centric? Uh oh.
- Flash can run at the speed of light, it should take about twenty seconds for him to track down all the relics.
- Despite his obvious power-reduction (when convenient) Flash is still the best.
- Oh shit, I remember the Wonder Woman and Superman fight just because of how they rip into each other. Too bad Superman has to get his ass kicked again for some contrived reason.
- I like how Flash and J'onn encounter the fire-breathing snake during the day, then it cuts away and by the time it cuts back, it's night time.
- If the Justice League were smart, they would have J'onn take on the appearance of the key and leave the real one at home. Bam, villain foiled.
- Okay, seriously? They totally reused animation of the Flash from the Superman The Animated Series cartoon. It's not even subtle.
- I should start counting the number of times Flash defeats himself by running into an enemy's attack.
- I know the heroes can't succeed straight away so that the story can progress, but do they have to look so incompetent?
- Damn Hippolyta, you mean.

Fights

Wonder Woman vs. Faust
- Result: Faust attempts to ambush Wonder Woman, but fails. Wonder Woman overpowers Faust and forces him to explain the situation.
- Decision: Wonder Woman victorious

Wonder Woman vs. Gladiator Statue
- Result: The Gladiator Statue smacks Wonder Woman around a little, but eventually she manages to smash it to pieces.
- Decision: Wonder Woman victorious.

Flash and J'onn vs. Giant Snake
- Result: J'onn goes down immediately when he is blasted by fire. Flash distracts the snake long enough for enough for J'onn to recover and defeat the snake.
- Decision: Flash and J'onn victorious

Superman vs. Wonder Woman
- Result: They fight briefly under the effects of a spell that causes them to see each other as demons. Superman gets his ass kicked while trying to snap Wonder Woman out of it.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Wonder Woman by virtue of Superman's refusal to fight

Batman, Flash, Hippolyta, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Faust
- Result: The Justice League gets owned because they letting Faust do stuff. They could just knock him out or kill him but no, they just corner him several times and act surprised when he hits them with more magic. Faust escapes with Hippolyta as his hostage.
- Decision: Faust victorious

Faust vs. Hades
- Result: Faust' wish for ultimate knowledge backfires when Hades simply tells him that pain and suffering is all men shall ever know and curse him. Christopher Marlowe is spinning in his grave.
- Decision: Hades victorious

Batman, Flash, Faust, Hippolyta, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Hades and his Undead Army
- Result: The Undead Army is huge but easily defeated. Hades incapacitates Batman, Flash, J'onn and Superman with his flame breath. Faust blindsides Hades with a spell that reveals his true form.
- Decision: Hades victorious

Hippolyta and Wonder Woman vs. One-Winged Hades
- Result: Hades smacks them around until Wonder Woman destroys the key. Hades (and Faust) are sucked back down into hell.
- Decision: Wonder Woman and Hippolyta victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 13

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Wonder Woman

War World - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- Fucking Superman and J'onn can't do anything right.
- This episode is basically The Ring from Angel. I remember disliking it the first time I watched it because Superman lets himself get beaten so much I suspect he's a masochist.
- Batman never gets to go on awesome space adventures.
- The writers for this show have no sense of scale. Green Lantern would have to be travelling at thousands of times the the speed of light in order to travel to planets in distant star systems with his little bubble thing.
- Okay, Superman can be blinded by sand? Yet bullets do nothing? What.
- Sexual tension between Green Lantern and Hawkgirl are go!
- J'onn, you can't do anything right.
- They never explained why J'onn was having so much difficulty using his mind powers in this episode. For that, I'm counting it as another owned.

Fights

Draaga vs. Krodar the Terrible
- Result: Kordar is smashed into a building and executed by Draaga at Mongul's behest.
- Decision: Draaga victorious

Superman vs. Giant Alligator Monster
- Result: Superman breaks its teeth and escapes none worse the wear.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Superman vs. Security Drones
- Result: Superman ensures that J'onn escapes but is overwhelmed and recaptured shortly afterward.
- Decision: Security Drones victorious

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl vs. Bar Patrons
- Result: Between the two of them, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl smack the patrons around until they're willing to talk.
- Decision: Green Lantern and Hawkgirl victorious

Superman vs. Draaga
- Result: Draaga is powerful but Superman still wins without having to fight seriously.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Superman vs. Security Drones
- Result: When Superman refuses to execute Draaga, Morgul orders Superman to die as well. The drones prepare to kill Superman but J'onn rallies the crowd and Mongul is forced to spare him.
- Decision: J'onn victorious (technically)

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl vs. Space Hobos
- Result: Space Hobos are bad at fighting apparently.
- Decision: Green Lantern and Hawkgirl victorious

Green Lantern vs. Draaga
- Result: Draaga sucker punches Green Lantern and then runs away.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Superman vs. Mongul
- Result: Mongul coerces Superman into throwing the fight by threatening to destroy Draaga's homeworld with a giant space laser. The fight is interrupted by Draaga, who wishes to settle the score with Superman.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Superman vs. Draaga
- Result: Superman manages to talk (and beat) Draaga down by revealing Mongul's threat to destroy his homeworld.
- Decision: Superman victorious

J'onn vs. Space Laser Guards
- Result: J'onn's cover is blown (because he sucks) and he has to fight his way out of the situation. J'onn is forced to take refuge because he seems to have forgotten he can turn invisible and is seemingly helpless until Green Lantern and Hawkgirl arrive.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Space Laser Guards

Hawkgirl vs. Space Laser
- Result: Hawkgirl deflects the laser with her mace and destroys it.
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious

Superman vs. Mongul
- Result: Superman stops fighting entirely and allows Mongul to pummel him. Superman is about to let himself be killed when Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and J'onn arrive and tell Superman that laser has been destroyed.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Mongul

Draaga vs. Mongul
- Result: Draaga thrashes Mongul, paying him back for the years of humiliation and extortion.
- Decision: Draaga victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 15

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Hawkgirl

The Brave and the Bold - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- This is the first episode where I can't immediately recall what happens in it. Surprises!
- Okay, so Flash isn't immediately outrunning a speeding van. What's wrong with this picture?
- God damn, it's one of Grodd's episodes. All Grodd episodes are terrible.
- I suppose it's only fair that Flash can only use his powers to fullest when it's convenient for the writers, otherwise he could just do everything by himself.
- Grodd is so C-list it's not even funny. If J'onn Superman Batman were here he would ruin Grodd's day in about three seconds.
- You'd think that a laser capable of paralyzing Wonder Woman would completely incinerate Batman.
- Haha, J'onn: WE ARE NOT YOUR PRISONERS, YOU CANNOT HOLD U-ahhrhzjasffgkskkfk
- J'onn could just phase through his cuffs but no, it falls to Batman to escape the old fashioned way while the psychic martian does fuck all except get beaten up.
- Batman and Wonder Woman sexual tension are go!
- "Oh yeah? Well you're... naked!" Flash is the best.
- "... Internet romances, huh? Go figure." Flash is the double best.
- All Grodd episodes are terrible.

Fights

Flash vs. Speeding Van
- Result: Flash trails behind the van in a long protracted chase while one of passengers takes potshots at him. The van eventually overturns and the joy riders are captured.
- Decision: Flash victorious

Police vs. Solovar
- Result: The gorilla evades capture by stealing a car and driving away.
- Decision: Solovar victorious

Flash vs. Solovar
- Result: Flash disables the car in a much more timely manner but is shot from behind by a monkey laser.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Flash

Green Lantern vs. Solovar
- Result: One blast from the power ring neutralizes the gorilla
- Decision: Green Lantern victorious

Flash vs. Grodd
- Result: Grodd sucker punches Flash while he is distracted, knocking him unconscious.
- Decision: Grodd victorious

Green Lantern and Solovar vs. Flash
- Result: Grodd uses his mind control powers (....) to turn Flash against his allies. Flash provides enough of a distraction for Grodd to escape. Green Lantern eventually manages to knock Flash out.
- Decision: Grodd victorious (technically)

Green Lantern and Solovar vs. Grodd
- Result: Grodd succeeds at activating his stupid doomsday machine or whatever and escapes. Green Lantern tries to stem the blast but is eventually enveloped along with the rest of the city.
- Decision: Grodd victorious

Flash, Green Lantern and Solovar vs. Angry Mob
- Result: Gordd order the mind controlled populace of Central City to kill them. Flash, Green Lantern and Solovar escape without trouble.
- Decision: Flash, Green Lantern and Solovar victorious

Batman, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Wonder Woman vs. Gorilla City Laser Turret
- Result: Justice League caught off guard and captured.
- Decision: Gorilla City Laser Turret victorious

Solovar vs. Soldier
- Result: Gorillas punch hard.
- Decision: Solovar victorious

Batman, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Wonder Woman vs. Gorilla Guards
- Result: Batman escapes his bonds and quickly frees his allies. Together they quickly dispatch the guards.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Wonder Woman vs. Four Nuclear Missiles
- Result: Green Lantern disables two. J'onn disables one. Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman disable the last one.
- Decision: Justice League victorious.

Flash vs. Grodd
- Result: Flash tampers with Grodd's mind control helmet and then provokes Grodd into using it. The feedback incapacitates Grodd and leaves him a vegetable... OR DOES IT?!?!?
- Decision: Flash victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 18

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Green Lantern (for disabling the most missiles)

Fury - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- The title is oh so clever.
- Batman solos the entire reformed Injustice Gang and then loses against one Amazon. The Conversation of Ninjitsu is well in effect I see.
- One of my favorite parts about Justice League is having the heroes just interacting with regular people and showing what it's like to live with these amazing powers.
- "Wear this and you'll have to beat the men off with a stick," says the perfumist. "Believe me, I won't need a stick," replies Wonder Woman badassfully, failing to comprehend that she basically just said she has no trouble beating off men.
- Isn't Batman like an exalted hero on Themyscira thanks to his role in taking down Hades? Why can't he just go there himself?
- Is Wonder Woman's ability to fly unique among the Amazons? What makes her so special?
- Phil LaMarr is a great VA but when you pay attention you start to realize he plays every single black dude, no matter how small the part.
- Superman, your physiology is completely alien to that of a male humans how can you possible be infected?
- The logistics of this man plague is so ridiculous, as is Aresia's plan altogether.
- Nowhere in the world could the emergency services continue to operate by relying entirely on it's female contingent.
- I love that J'onn doesn't remove Batman or Flash's mask while he diagnoses them. J'onn is just so conscientious (even though he has undoubtedly read their minds before and knows their real identities.)
- I know it's a kid's show, but you'd think someone would mention that women can't have babies by themselves.
- Also Hawkgirl is the best when it comes to innuendo.
- Also I guess this means that Wonder Woman is a virgin. What is she, like 30?
- For fuck's sake J'onn, how on earth can you be infected your genetic make up isn't even remotely similar to humans.
- Hippolyta you are such a bitch.
- "It's good thing you managed to cure us by doing that thing offscreen," said Batman batmanfully. "It was," Wonder Woman agreed, failing to explain how she actually did anything.

Fights

Copperhead vs. Security Guard
- Result: Copperhead uses his tail (how does he control it?) to choke the guard out.
- Decision: Copperhead victorious

Tsukuri vs. Three Security Guards
- Result: Tsukuri uses her leet ninja skills to deflect gunfire and incapacitate all three guards.
- Decision: Tsukuri victorious

Batman vs. Copperhead, Grundy, Star Sapphire, The Shade and Tsukuri
- Result: Batman takes them all down. The only one who gives him trouble is Tsukuri, even though she's just a ninja while Grundy (a zombie with strength on par with Superman) gets wrecked in three seconds.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Batman vs. Aresia
- Result: Now that it's one on one, Batman gets his ass kicked.
- Decision: Aresia victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Five Amazonian Guards
- Result: Hawkgirl is caught in a net and taken prisoner.
- Decision: Amazonian Guards victorious

Police vs. Injustice Gang
- Result: Thanks to Star Sapphire's magic bubble thing, the Injustice Gang make their escape without any trouble.
- Decision: Injustice Gang victorious

Superman vs. Aresia
- Result: Aresia hits Superman with a toxic smoke bomb that cripples him, giving her the opportunity to escape.
- Decision: Aresia victorious

Wonder Woman vs. Aresia
- Result: Aresia takes advantage of Superman's debilitated state and flees while Wonder Woman goes to rescue him.
- Decision: Aresia victorious

Aresia vs. Copperhead, Grundy and The Shade
- Result: Aresia really hates men.
- Decision: Aresia victorious

Aresia and Tsukuri vs. Female Soldiers
- Result: It's not just misandry after all.
- Decision: Aresia and Tsukuri victorious

Hippolyta vs. Tsukuri
- Result: Tsukuri ambushes Hippolyta while she is distracted and takes her down.
- Decision: Tsukuri victorious

Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman vs. Aresia and Tsukuri
- Result: Despite the fight being just a ploy, Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman are clearly superior.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman

Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman vs. Aresia, Star Sapphire and Tsukuri
- Result: Aresia uses Hippolyta as a hostage and distracts Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman long enough for Star Sapphire to blindside them both.
- Decision: Aresia, Star Sapphie and Tsukuri victorious

Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman vs. Star Sapphire and several defense turrets.
- Result: Hawkgirl distracts Star Sapphire long enough for Wonder Woman to take her down. Wonder Woman destroys the defense turrets.
- Decision: Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman victorious.

Wonder Woman vs. Aresia
- Result: Wonder Woman is thrown out of the plane and Aresia tries to stop it from crashing. The plane explodes in midair, taking Aresia with it.
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Count: 19

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Hawkgirl (for preventing the launch of the man plague missiles)

Legends - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- This is one of my favorite episodes of Justice League.
- J'onn decides the best thing to do is to try and catch Hawkgirl after she takes a hit and her limp body ends up crushing him into a wall and knocking him out too. J'onn you suck so much.
- It always falls to Batman to save the day.
- Electricity + Go Fast = Dimensional Travel!
- So why weren't the buildings that were caught in the explosion travel across dimensions too?
- There are approximately two outcomes to J'onn using his telepathy on screen: it 'sorta' works or his head explodes. There is no successful outcome.
- Like Phil LaMarr, Jennifer Hale is so ubiquitous that once you pay attention you realize she's in everything.
- The reason this is one of my favorite episode is because the writers managed to discuss the stereotypes of the golden age of comic books in a way that is both satirical and affectionate while still adhering to the restrictions of a children's cartoon. Like the frequent innuendos and allusions to more explicit content, the show manages to be mature without being mature if that makes sense.
- "You're a credit to your people, son" is exactly what I'm talking about. Coincidentally, it's one of my favorite lines in any cartoon ever (admittedly, that is a short list). This episode is full of amazing lines.
- Flash is the best. "Decorative and functional."
- The story for this episode may be one of the saddest I've even seen in a children's cartoon. Nuclear war will do that, I guess.

Fights

Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman vs. Lex Luthor's Battlebot
- Result: Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and J'onn are taken down. Superman manages to tear through the Battlebot's armor and give Batman the opportunity to deliver the killing blow. The resulting explosion, combined with Flash's attempts to protect his friend's unconscious bodies, causes a dimensional rift that transports Flash, Green Lanter, Hawkgirl, and J'onn to another dimension.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Police vs. Music Master
- Result: Music Master uses his concussive accordion to destroy the police car and escape.
- Decision: Music Master victorious

Green Lantern vs. Music Master
- Result: Music Master escapes but Green Lantern is able to recover the instrument he stole.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and J'onn vs. Black Siren, Catman, Green Guardsman, The Streak and Tom Turbine.
- Result: A hilarious misunderstanding leads to a fight between the two groups. The battle ends when Flash saves Ray Thompson - the Justice Guild's sidekick - from being crushed by debris.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Justice Guild of America

Green Lantern and Streak vs. Sir Swami
- Result: The two heroes are more than a match for Sir Swami, but the evil magician manages to use his magic to escape with his ill gotten gains.
- Decision: Sir Swami victorious

Green Guardsman and Hawkgirl vs. Music Master
- Result: The two heroes have to stop and rescue some workers on a scaffold from falling. Music Master gets away.
- Decision: Music Master victorious

Black Siren and Flash vs. Dr. Blizzard
- Result: The heroes are forced to stop the fight when they notice a truck filled with TNT heading straight for a bus full of nuns. The explosion incapacitates Flash and Black Siren is frozen by Dr. Blizzard while she is distracted. Dr. Blizzard kidnaps them both.
- Decision: Dr. Blizzard victorious

Catman, J'onn and Ray vs. Sportsman
- Result: Catman and Ray stop chasing Sportsman when J'onn is suddenly paralyzed by a vision of a nuclear war. Sportsman escapes.
- Decision: Sportman victorious.

Catman, Green Guardsman, The Streak, Tom Turbine and J'onn vs. Injustice Guild
- Result: While the rest of the team (and J'onn) get their asses kicked, Catman channels Batman takes down the Injustice Guild by himself.
- Decision: Catman victorious (let's be honest)

Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and J'onn vs. Ray
- Result: Realizing that Ray is behind the illusion, the Justice League try to stop him. Ray's psychic abilities prove too much for them to handle.
- Decision: Ray victorious

Justice Guild vs. Ray
- Result: The Justice Guild knowingly sacrifice themselves to defeat Ray.
- Decision: Justice Guild victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 25

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: The Justice Guild of America

Saddest episode i'm up to is in season 2.

A Knight of Shadows - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- I love the continuity of Batman and Etrigan's frienship. They originally met in an episode of the New Batman Adventures when the show was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for storylines.
- Oh boy, J'onn is going to use his mental powers to try and locate Morgaine Le Faye, I wonder how this is going to turn out? Mindrape, that's how.
- J'onn actually believed in the illusion. In Etrigan's words only a "weak minded fool" would do so. That fits J'onn rather well actually.
- Ha, there's a Hugh Hefner expy and Flash is familiar with his magazines, but only "for the articles". Flash is the best.
- Come on J'onn, again? This time it almost killed Batman.
- Ha, the guy in the Batman costume doing the batdance.
- I swear there's a guy dressed as Galactus at the costume party.
- There's probably some kind of symbolism of the decrepit old hedonistic pervert being turned into a giant worm.
- So why does Morgaine Le Faye leave when J'onn destroys the stone? Why doesn't she just kill everyone? They're all unconscious and who's gonna stop her? J'onn? Ha!

Fights

Batman and Etrigan vs. Reanimated Suits of Armor
- Result: The suits of armor are no match for Etrigan's demon powers.
- Decision: Batman and Etrigan victorious

J'onn vs. Etrigan
- Result: J'onn tries to fight Etrigan's attempts to bring him back to reality. He fails of course.
- Decision: Etrigan victorious

Wonder Woman vs. Bouncer
- Result: What a silly little man.
- Decision: Wonder Woman victorious

J'onn vs. Morgaine Le Faye
- Result: J'onn you can't do anything right.
- Decision: Morgaine Le Faye victorious

Batman and Etrigan vs. Morgaine Le Faye
- Result: J'onn being a dumb fuck distracts Batman and Etrigan long enough for Morgaine Le Faye to take them down.
- Decision: Morgaine Le Faye victorious

Flash and Wonder Woman vs. Giant Worm Monster
- Result: Wonder Woman beats the worm hard. Heh.
- Decision: Flash and Wonder Woman victorious

Etrigan vs. Morgaine Le Faye
- Result: Etrigan is no match for the sorceress. Flash quickly arrives and drags him to safety before Morgaine can finish him off.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Morgaine

Batman, Etrigan, Flash and Wonder Woman vs. Demon Soldiers
- Result: By working together, Flash and Etrigan are able to destroy the demons.
- Decision: Batman, Etrigan, Flash and Wonder Woman victorious

Batman, Flash and Wonder Woman vs. Morgaine Le Feye and Mordred
- Result: The two sorcerers' magic proves too much for three heroes.
- Decision: Morgaine Le Feye and Mordred victorious

J'onn vs. Etrigan
- Result: J'onn decides to be a stupid fuck and Etrigan tries to stop him. Unfortunately, J'onn becomes competent for once and defeats Etrigan.
- Decision: J'onn victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 30

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Etrigan (for being the only one competent enough to try and stop J'onn from being a dumbass)

Metamorphosis - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- I think I remember this episode being terrible. I definitely remember the villain being ridiculous.
- It's weird that Skagg sounded so familiar until I realized he was LeChuck in Monkey Island. Awesome.
- I'm glad Rex Mason becomes a horrible monster. Other than having a terrible name, he's way too suave and rich and popular and perfect.
- Green Lantern loves the white women.
- Metamorpho is fucking stupid name.
- Okay, Superman's had a pretty poor showing this season (he literally hasn't done anything that someone else couldn't have) but him showing up and tanking Metamorpho's attacks was pretty badass. At least it was until Metamorpho turned into kryptonite or something and almost killed him.
- I love that the Justice League continues to throw all they have at Skagg even though he's holding a hostage in one of his hands. If he should flinch in pain, or fall, or try to defend himself, Sapphire dies.
- They just couldn't resist the King Kong references could they?

Fights

Metamorpo vs. Java
- Result: Metamorpho lashes out in a hysterical frenzy and knocks Java out
- Decision: Metamorpho victorious

Metamorpho vs. Police
- Result: The police decide to fire at an unarmed suspect requesting aid. Anyway, Metamorpho runs away.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl vs. Bank Robbers
- Result: Green Lantern manages to bisect the robbers' truck and capture them both.
- Decision: Green Lantern and Hawkgirl victorious

Green Lantern vs. Metamorpho
- Result: Metamorpho wrecks Green Lantern and seems ready to finish him off when Superman arrives.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Metamorpho

Batman, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman vs. Metamorpho
- Result: Metamorpho is impervious to damage and our heroes seem powerless. Metamorpho only flees when he decides he has better things to do.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Metamorpho.

Metamorpho vs. Java
- Result: Java uses liquid nitrogen to render Metamorpho immobile and trap him.
- Decision: Java victorious

Metamorpho vs. Waste Management Lackies
- Result: Metamorpho takes out the trash.
- Decision: Metamorpho victorious

Police vs. Skagg
- Result: Skagg is like a super Metamorpho. They stood no chance.
- Decision: Skagg victorious

Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Skagg
- Result: It's too early in the episode for the heroes to be able to win.
- Decision: Skagg victorious

(Batman,) Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, J'onn, Metamorpho and Superman vs. Skagg
- Result: Skagg wrecks everyone until Batman figure out a way to neutralizes the mutagen that gives Skagg his power. Metamorpho transforms into the neutralizing agent and destroys Skagg.
- Decision: Justice League and Metamorpho victorious.

J'onn Owned Count: 32

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Metamorpho (I guess)

The Savage Time - Part 1, 2 and 3

Notes

- Oh boy World War 2. I bet no one mentions the Soviet contibutions to the Allied victory in WW2.
- Batman doesn't get to go on awesome time travel adventures. He doesn't get to do anything fun, come to think of it.
- They were clever about Vandal Savage's banner sigils. They obviously couldn't use swastikas, so they used an altered version of the SS insignia and justified it by having Savage lead the SS in a coup against Hitler. Now no one gets offended, hooray.
- Superman should be ashamed of himself in this episode. He's invulnerable, he should be steamrolling Nazis left and right and instead is getting owned by bullets. Ubermensch my ass.
- Aw, I love the cameos from Alterna-Barbara, Alterna-Dick and Alterna-Tim. It sucks they never show up in the main timeline.
- I bet no one mentions Japan either.
- Alterna-Bats: Then doing this could save my parents? Superman: Um... Yeah why not.
- Bats is cool no matter the world.
- Not a Brit or a Canadian in sight. Even in Caen. Where it was primarily British and Canadian.
- God damn Nazis and their magic battle tanks.
- Okay I have to mention it again: Superman getting stunned by bullets. What is wrong with this picture?
- Oh sure, they use a historically accurate American flag (48 stars) but no Russians, Japanese, Britons, or Canadians.
- Green Lantern stumbles across EZ company (of Band of Brothers fame). I don't see Ron Livingston anywhere my immersion is ruined.
- Confirmed: J'onn gets off on being hurt. He lets himself be tortured for no reason before escaping effortlessly.
- Suddenly Superman remembers the whole invulnerability thing and starts tanking things like a champ. What was up before then?
- Britain isn't even good enough to invade in the DCAU, the Nazis are skipping straight to America.
- Vandal may have been stopped, but the scientists who built all of his war machines are still alive and thus Nazi Germany is still capable of mass producing 21st century weaponry and technology. I guess we're just supposed to assume that even that isn't enough to stop Super America from saving the day.
- So uh... what happened to EZ company?
- Hitler: So guys, what did I miss?
- Batman: So guys, what did I miss?
- Congratulations on the gayest hug ever Superman.
- The Justice League killed so many people in this episode.

Fights

Justice League vs. Nazis
- Result: The Justice League flee with the help of Alterna-Bats.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Alterna-Bats, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Nazis
- Result: Master race my ass
- Decision: Justice League and Alterna-Bats victorious

Justice League vs. War Wheels
- Result: Score one for AMERICA
- Decision: Justice League victorious

J'onn, Steve and Wonder Woman vs. Luftwaffe
- Result: AMERICA
- Decision: J'onn, Steve and Wonder Woman victorious

Justice League vs. War Wheels
- Result: The Justice League successfully evacuates the soldiers but Green Lantern is left behind when his power ring runs out of energy.
- Decision: Justice League victorious.

Hawkgirl, Superman and the Blackhawks vs. Luftwaffe
- Result: FRANCE, HOLLAND, NORWAY, POLAND, America
- Decision: Hawkgirl, Superman and the Blackhawks victorious

Steve and Wonder Woman vs. Nazis
- Result: Why does no one ever shoot Wonder Woman's feet?
- Decision: Steve and Wonder Woman victorious

Green Lantern and EZ Company vs. Nazis
- Result: I don't remember this in Band of Brothers.
- Decision: Green Lantern and EZ Company victorious

Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Nazis
- Result: Dat mace.
- Decision: Hawkgirl and Superman victorious

Green Lantern vs. Nazis
- Result: I should probably just call him John now. Green Lantern is captured.
- Decision: Nazis victorious

Hawkgirl, J'onn, Superman and Wonder Woman vs. Nazi Invasion Airfleet
- Result: AMERICA
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Green Lantern vs. Vandal Savage
- Result: Hawkgirl appears and rescues Green Lantern from the crashing plane before it crashes into the ocean and explodes. Isn't this exactly what happened to Aresia?
- Decision: Inconclusive

J'onn Owned Count: 35

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Alterna-Batman

Twilight - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- With the beginning of Season 2, I've decided to start referring to each of the Justice League by their actual name when there is a legitimate (and simpler name) available. That means Green Lantern is now John and Wonder Woman is now Diana. Hawkgirl might become Shayera down the line, but Batman will always be Batman, Superman will always be Superman (because Clark is stupid) and Flash will always be Flash.
- Here it is guys, the first episode where Superman well and truly kicks ass. I've heard that fans complained about how useless Superman was in Season 1 so the creators scaled him back up to a competent level. Good.
- I guess they decided Hawkgirl would be a spy sometime in the interim between Season 1 and Season 2 because they start laying down foreshadowing for her betrayal immediately.
- JUST US LEAGUE
- Superman's callous disregard for Apokolips is refreshing.
- Also Batman telling Superman to deal with it was great.
- Batman must be so excited, it's the first time he gets to go on an awesome space adventure.
- "I'm gonna need a longer grapple." Batman's dry wit never ceases to make me laugh.
- Spanking is so offensive it cannot even be shown on camera.
- They really need to make the half-swears less awkward. Nothing about the dialogue sounded natural.
- Hawkgirl is definitely my favorite female DCAU character.
- Orion's cool and all but his jet pack thing looks ridiculous.
- Man, even J'onn gets to be outrageously competent in this episode. Makes a nice change of pace.
- The musical sting that plays when Superman triumphs over Darkseid is fucking amazing.
- J'onn really knows how to beat a dead horse.

Fights

New Genesis' Fleet vs. General Steppenwolf's Fleet
- Result: German literature is no match for prog rock.
- Decision: New Genesis' Fleet

Superman vs. Darkseid
- Result: Superman jumps the gun and pounds the shit out of Darkseid before realizing he isn't there to fight.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Superman

Kalibak and Apokolips' Army vs. Braniac
- Result: Braniac hardscopes.
- Decision: Braniac victorious

Superman vs. Braniac
- Result: He fails to breach Braniac's defenses too. Darkseid tells Superman to try a new strategy.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Braniac

Batman and Diana vs. Giant Lizard Monster
- Result: Things looks bad for our heroes until Forager saves them with a buzz bomb.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Giant Lizard Monster

Superman, Darkseid and Apokolips' Army vs. Braniac
- Result: Their combined forces manage to cripple Braniac's shell and force him to flee.
- Decision: Superman, Darkseid and Apokolips' Army victorious

Hawkgirl, J'onn and Superman vs. Braniacs
- Result: Together, the three heroes wreck shit until Darkseid appears and betrays them.
- Decision: Inconclusive, Justice League advantage

Hawkgirl and J'onn vs. Braniacs
- Result: The timely arrival of Orion, Wonder Woman and Batman stops Hawkgirl and J'onn from being overwhelmed.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Braniacs

Batman, Diana and J'onn vs. Braniacs
- Result: Diana and J'onn hold off Braniac long enough for Batman to disable Darkseid's control over it and free Superman.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Orion vs. Darkseid
- Result: Orion is no match for his father.
- Decision: Darkseid victorious

Superman vs. Darkseid
- Result: The best fight in the series (so far) and uh... oh hell, just watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmTg7ROPssc&t=20
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Superman.

J'onn Owned Count: 36

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman (for indirectly causing Darkseid's death and preventing Braniac's assimilation of Superman)

Tabula Rasa - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- TABULA RASA, I GET IT.
- Hey it's Mercy. That's some continuity right there. And I just realized she's voiced by Cuddy from House.
- Superman asks J'onn to do a psychic sweep of Metropolis in order to track down Luthor. Doing so completely fucks with J'onn's head and leaves him a shattered nihilistic wreck. J'onn's such a bitch in this episode.
- What Lex does to Amazo is pretty fucked up when you think about it. He pays for it down the road of course.
- There are shades of the infamous Tower of Babel arc from the Justice League comics in this episode. For those who don't know, in Tower of Babel a villain (Ra's Al Ghul) manages to take down the entire Justice League by using the plans Batman created as contingencies should any member of the Justice League go rogue. I mention this because in this episode it's Batman who manages to defeat Amazo at first by exploiting his teammates' weaknesses.
- Amazo becomes the first enemy to ever strike Diana with a projectile while she's deflecting them with her bracelets. My god, is there anything he can't do?
- For some reason, the image of Superman sitting in the passenger seat of the Batmobile while drinking a coffee during a stakeout is hilarious to me.
- Even though it ultimately doesn't work, Superman attempting to prevent Amazo from mimicking him by grafting a piece of scrap metal to his face is both a. awesome and b. really smart. I'm relieved that the writers have stuck with the competent Superman change.
- Every time I hear the Batman's leitmotif my inner child cheers.
- Flash-Amazo is the best. As is Flash-Flash. And Flash-Luthor but we''ll get to that later.
- Two BTAS stings in one episode, hell yes.
- Man, there is more than a little bit of rape imagery when Amazo is stripping Lex.
- Amazo: I have to go now, my planet needs me.

Fights

Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Luthor
- Result: Luthor is forced to sink a cruise liner to create enough of a distraction to escape.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Hawkgirl and Superman

Amazo vs. Security Guards
- Result: Amazo completely ignores their attacks.
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Hakwgirl vs. Amazo
- Result: Amazo mimics Hawkgirl and takes her down.
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Amazo vs. Police
- Result: The Police use their superior fire power to destroy Amazo. Wait no that's a lie.
- Decision: Amazo victorious

Diana, Flash, Hawkgirl, John and Superman vs. Amazo
- Result: One by one, Amazo mimics the Justice League's powers and overwhelms them. Superman manages to hold his own even after Amazo copies his abilities. The fight is interrupted by Batman's arrival.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Batman vs. Amazo
- Result: Batman uses kryptonite to incapacitate Amazo - who has inherited Superman's weaknesses as well as his strengths. Amazo is forced to flee.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Batman, Diana, Flash, Hawkgirl, John, J'onn and Superman vs. Amazo and Lex
- Result: The Justice League hold their own to an extent until Lex joins the fray and leaves them vulnerable. Things look bad until J'onn appears and allows Amazo to copy him, granting Amazo his telepathy and giving him the opportunity to discover Lex's treachery.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Amazo and Lex

Amazo vs. Lex
- Result: Lex realizes just how boned he is and tries to flee. Amazo is far too powerful, fast and competent to let him to do that though. Amazo destroys Lex's powersuit, leaving him crippled but alive. When Lex begs for his life, Amazo realizes how insignificant both Lex and the Justice League are to him now. He decides to go travel space looking for something greater.
- Decision: Amazo victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 37

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: J'onn I guess, even though he ends up creating an all powerful, all knowing deus ex machina (HEY WRITERS I KNOW LATIN TOO) in the process.

Season 2 is a lot better then 1.

Only A Dream - Part 1 and 2

Notes

- I really love this episode. It's genuinely dark and scary.
- Three nights without sleep Bats? It's not like Bane is on the loose.
- Batman you fucking lit nerd. Who uses the Odyssey to win arguments?
- Doctor Destiny may be a stupid name, but he's a fantastic villain. "I think I'll perform some surgery."
- I am really liking competent J'onn. In this episode he not only goes toe-to-toe with Grundy without getting owned, but he also manages to telepathically probe Penny's thoughts without getting mindfucked.
- The ending to the first episode is just downright sinister. I love it.
- "Are you French?" "No." "Then there's no food." Flash is the best.
- Man on fucked up scale, I think Superman's nightmare wins.
- "Jimmy, my pal!" Welp.
- Although the show has Batman humming Frère Jacques to keep himself awake, the fact that it is almost drowned out by his own leitmotif seems to suggest that the BTAS theme song is actually a mental representation of Batman's iron will. That means it's easy to speculate that for all the years Batman has been fighting crime he's been psyching himself up by imagining his own theme music. Man that's meta.
- This is the first episode that J'onn wasn't owned in. My god, anything is possible.

Fights

Prisoners vs. Riot Police
- Result: The riot is eventually quelled.
- Decision: Riot Police victorious

Volcana vs. Riot Police
- Result: Fire burns.
- Decision: Volcana victorious

Batman and John vs. Firefly and Volcana
- Result: Firefly and Volcana pretty much beat themselves.
- Decision: Batman and John victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Luminus
- Result: Luminous exploits Hawkgirl's fear of enclosed spaces and manages to get the better of her.
- Decision: Luminous victorious

Grundy vs. Riot Police
- Result: Although invulnerable to small-arms fire, the Riot Police's chemical weaponry forces Grundy to flee
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Riot Police

J'onn vs. Grundy
- Result: The fight gradually takes them outside, allowing others to join the fray.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Flash, Hawkgirl and Superman vs. Luminus
- Result: Superman uses his x-ray vision to see through Luminus' illusions and allow Hawkgirl to take him out.
- Decision: Flash, Hawkgirl and Superman victorious

J'onn and Superman vs. Grundy
- Result: Together, they are more than a match for the swamp zombie.
- Decision: J'onn and Superman victorious

Hawkgirl vs. Copperhead
- Result: He's scared of heights.
- Decision: Hawkgirl victorious

John, J'onn and Superman vs. Doctor Destiny
- Result: J'onn frees Superman and John from their nightmares and gives them the motivation to fight back. They manage to banish Doctor Destiny from their dreams.
- Decision: John, J'onn and Superman victorious

Flash, John, J'onn and Superman vs. Doctor Destiny
- Result: Having freed Flash, J'onn and the others have to contend with a pissed off Doctor Destiny. They manage to succeed with some difficulty.
- Decision: Flash, John, J'onn and Superman victorious

Batman vs. John Dee
- Result: In the real world, Batman and John Dee grapple over a sedative. The toll of several nights without sleep and John's psychic powers leaves Batman weakened, but he still manages to overpower John and put an end to him.
- Decision: Batman victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 37

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Batman

I think its better, if you don't refer to multiple people as john.

Maid of Honor - Part 1 and 2

Notes
- I can't remember any of this episode.
- Ah, Kaznia. The DCAU's answer to any need for a bog standard eastern-European country.
- Wow, I just realized we haven't seen Bats out of costume yet for the entire series. I kinda missed Kevin Conroy's civilian voice.
- Haha, I love how Bats just sits back and lets Diana save the day when it's clear she doesn't need his help.
- "I intend to go out with a bang. Several if it can be arranged." Damn, that's pushing it writers.
- I could watch Batman interrogate mooks all day.
- Seriously? Colonel Vox?
- "POOP" lol I can't believe they got away with that.
- Man there are some hardcore lesbian vibes between Diana and Audrey.
- Woah Vandal Savage, I forgot about him.
- We meet again Jennifer Hale.
- "Need back up? I'll grab the two Johns-" Confirmation that my decision to use John indiscriminately is a good one. Flash is the best.
- I wish Flash was pissed off more often. He cleared out the entire ISS is about 6 seconds.
- So Batman blew up Kaznia and John blew up the ISS. Who are the real terrorists, again?
- J'onn is on a roll here. Two episode without being owned.

Fights

Kaznian Rebels vs. Princess Audrey's Guard
- Result: Guns don't kill people, they just knock them out.
- Decision: Kaznian Rebels victorious

Diana vs. Kaznian Rebels
- Result: Tragically, Diana is brought down in a hail of gunfire and nope just kidding.
- Decision: Diana victorious

Batman vs. Kaznian Rebels
- Result: Batman takes down one but is forced to save him from a collapsing walkway. The other two escape.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Batman

Diana vs. Colonel Vox
- Result: Colonel Vox's sonic scream thing incapacitates Diane.
- Decision: Colonel Vox victorious

Batman and Diana vs. Fighter Jets and Kaznian Soldiers
- Result: Fire and rain.
- Decision: Batman and Diana victorious

Javelin vs. ISS
- Result: The Javelin is brought down by the ISS's defense turrets.
- Decision: ISS victorious

Flash, John and J'onn vs. Kaznian Terrorists
- Result: Magic rings don't kill people, they just knock them out.
- Decision: Flash, John and J'onn victorious

Batman and Diana vs. Kaznian Prison Guard
- Result: Bullets just make Diana stronger.
- Decision: Batman and Diana victorious

Flash vs. Kaznian Terrorists
- Result: Space taught Flash how to kick ass.
- Decision Flash victorious

Batman vs. Kaznian Soldiers
- Result: Joke about guns.
- Decision: Batman victorious

Diana vs. General Vox
- Result: Diana uses earring to resist the concussive force of Vox's sonic scream and crush his throat. She can't resist making a lame joke afterwards.
- Decision: Diana victorious

Batman vs. Vandal Savage
- Result: Batman mastered the chair shot a long time ago.
- Decision: Batman victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 37

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Um. Batman I guess. He saved Paris but decided to aim the rail gun at Kaznia rather than the ocean or a desert.

I was referring to John D. The last bit of the doctor destiny was confusing.

Hearts and Minds - Part 1 and 2

Notes
- I don't remember this episode at all.
- J'onn's matter of factness is starting to grow on me. if he keeps this up I might even start to like him.
- Bob and Terry's ice cream.
- Well, well, well. Keith David. You are in everything.
- It doesn't even cross John's mind to use the other power ring in his possession.
- Oh Mei Ling voices Katma. I didn't realize at first.
- This is kind of a nothing episode. Green Lantern episodes tend to suck.
- "And you must be...?" "Deeeeelighted to meet you." Flash is the best.
- "Impotence!? Oh... yeah I was just going over there." We are long overdue for a Flash centric episode.
- You know nothing, John Stewart.
- I recall that a guy spanking Wonder Woman was too risque, but Hawkgirl spanking John is a okay. As a man I am greatly offended and more to the point I
- Use the force, John.
- I guess you could say that Despero was Third Eye Blind.

Fights

Green Lantern Corps vs. Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: Galius and Arkkis are killed. Kilowog only escapes because Katma orders him to retreat while she stays behind to cover his exit.
- Decision: Legion of the Third Eye victorious

John vs. Legion of Third Eye Guards
- Result: I guess we can't all just get along.
- Decision: John victorious

John vs. Legion of Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: Cattle prods suck.
- Decision: Legion of Third Eye Soldiers victorious

John vs. Despero
- Result: John can't duel wield rings so he gets eye beamed for no reason. Oh well.
- Decision: Despero victorious

John, Katma and the Resistance vs. Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: John's power ring is broken (or whatever) so things look bad until the Justice League arrives.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers

Flash, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Kilowog vs. Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: The Legion Soldiers go down with barely a fight.
- Decision: Flash, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Kilowog victorious

Alien Cat People Things vs. Legion of Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: The Legion spreads to another planet and succeeds in assimilating another race.
- Decision: Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers victorious

Hawkgirl, John, Katma and the Resistance vs. Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers
- Result: The Resistance is crushed and Hawkgirl, John and Katma are captured.
- Decision: Legion of the Third Eye Soldiers victorious

John vs. Despero
- Result: John eventually brands Despero's third eye shut but the fight is interrupted when Despero loses his power over the Flames of Py'tar thanks to J'onn's intervention.
- Decision: Inconclusive, advantage John.

J'onn Owned Count: 37

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: J'onn (I'm as surprised as you are)

A Better World - Part 1 and 2

Notes
- This is pretty much the best episode of Justice League. I've been looking forward to watching it again.
- "I did love being a hero... but if this is where it leads, I'm done with it." Ice. Cold.
- So I wonder if Superman suggested the name Justice Lords in their timeline like he did in the original one. Getting a little conceited (and sexist) there Superman aren't we?
- Justice Lords Superman's outfit looks a hell of a lot like his future outfit in Batman Beyond. There's probably some deeper meaning there.
- So why doesn't the Thanagarian invasion occur in the Justice Lords timeline?
- Batman, you can't say "Can't or won't?" like that when J'onn clearly said "Martians don't do thatto one another."
- An electric shock that could incapacitate Superman would incinerate Batman. I feel like I've said this before but it bears repeating.
- I remember the first time I watched this episode I was like "Wow, this alternative dimension stuff is super interesting. I can't wait to see where they go with it." and then they introduced Doomsday as well and I was "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this is the best episode ever."
- It probably wasn't intentional, but the small piece of background chatter where Snapper Carr mentions the President is considering action against Doomsday - seemingly within minutes of his arrival - suggests that the government was involved and prepared for the situation (something which is later confirmed during the Cadmus arc).
- It's cool that the creators made the effort to show that the the Justice Lords - especially their Superman - are much more brutal in combat than what we're used to with the Justice League.
- I love the running theme that is introduced in this episode that the Flash is the moral compass of the Justice League. Flash is the best.
- Um, why do you have to do this alone Batman? Why not have J'onn read Justice Lords Batman's mind? Stop being so obtuse.
- I love the cameos from all of Batman's rogue gallery (and that Scarface the puppet has lobotomy holes too). Lobotomized Joker is almost worse than regular Joker.
- Leave it to Batman to be a hero no matter the dimension.
- John being unable to take the shot at Justice Lords Hawkgirl while his counterpart did is a beautiful bit of characterization and some well implemented symmetry.
- So Luthor's power disruptor. Are it's effects permanent? Why does he never try and build another? It's clearly the ultimate weapon in a world with superheroes.
- I can forgive this show for some heavy-handed symbolism sometimes, but Superman setting the American flag upright is just too much.

Fights

Batman, Diana and Superman vs. Secret Service
- Result: You'd think Luthor would have decked them out in Kryptonite armor or something.
- Decision: Batman, Diana and Superman victorious

Superman vs. Luthor
- Result: I wonder what the other five ways were.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Justice League vs. Luthor
- Result: Luthor is subdued and captured.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Doomsday vs. Riot Police
- Result: His skin can withstand a nuclear explosion, y'know.
- Decision: Doomsday victorious

Justice Lords vs. Doomsday
- Result: The Justice Lords throw everything they have at Doomsday but they can't keep him down.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Justice Lords Superman vs. Doomsday
- Result: Doomsday not thunk so good no more.
- Decision: Superman victorious

Flash vs. Justice Lords Batman
- Result: Flash not only outsmarted a Batman, but he owned him with one hand.
- Decision: Flash victorious

Diana, Flash, John, J'onn, and Superman vs. Justice Lords Superman Robots
- Result: The robots are nothing like the real thing.
- Decision: Justice League victorious

Batman vs. Justice Lords Batman
- Result: The two Batmen have a discussion of the nature of freedom vs. security.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Justice League vs. Justice Lords
- Result: They are obviously quite evenly matched. Fucking awesome fight though.
- Decision: Inconclusive

Luthor vs. Justice Lords
- Result: Luthor pretty much uses magic to strip all of the Justice Lords of their powers.
- Decision: Luthor victorious

J'onn Owned Count: 38

Spoiler:

Biggest Damn Hero: Luthor