Raw is WWE's A-Show, where everything important in the business happens, whether bad or good. As of late, it's been a really tedious show to watch. Thanks to the show being mostly promo's and with very little wrestling, that wouldn't even be a problem if the non-wrestling stuff was at least mostly entertaining. Instead, the head announcer is an annoying douchebag, the head writer holds bias towards certain wrestlers and the WWE Champion looks like a joke. I hope it will get better in the future as it's just ridiculous right now.
Tough Enough is a reality TV show where contestants work to become a WWE Wrestler. It's got the same gimmicks every other reality show has but this one has the virtue of being hosted by Stone Cold and having sit there and tell the contestants what dumbasses they are for doing half of the stupid crap they do. Basically, if you have no passion for wrestling and do horribly, your ass is getting eliminated. The show has basically become "Stone Cold reacts to people" the show... oh and he says the F Word a lot.
NXT is a bit like Tough Enough where it has the mentality of a reality TV show but it's actually scripted like regular WWE events. NXT has a bad track record for their rookies actually getting anywhere because with the exception of Season 1, most of them have done nothing, even the winners. Kaval (Season 2 Winner) was released, Kaitlyn (Season 3 Winner) barely showed up on TV and Johnny Curtis (Season 4 Winner) hasn't been on TV for 5 weeks since he won NXT. Yet some of the guys who didn't even win NXT are either working dark matches (Percy Watson) or on the actual roster (Alex Riley and Brodus Clay). This show also has had a penchant for picking bullshit winners after Season 2 where they picked Kaitlyn (Pretty but extremely bland and boring to watch wrestle) to win over a girl named AJ who could actually wrestle and was somewhat over and Johnny Curtis (Who summoned up a personality near the end of Season 4 and was actually forgotten by the host at one point) over Derrick Bateman, someone who had hilarious segments with his pro and actually learned from his pro along with being the best rookie on the roster. Season 1 is good, Season 2 is meh, Season 3 is hilariously bad and Season 4 is somehow even worse. So far Season 5 is a redemption themed NXT where rookies who were elimianted from past NXT's compete to gain a spot on the next Season of NXT rather than get a spot on the roster like the other seasons promised them (It's even worse when you factor in that, Darren Young, someone who was already on the Raw Roster was pulled from it to compete in Season 5). It's not too bad so far but only time can tell if things get worse.
SUPERSTARS
Thursday at 8PM EST/7PM CT on WGN America Date Started: April 16, 2009 Episodes: 103 Theme Song: "Invincible" by Adelitas Way
Superstars is a show that shows the talent of most of the lower card superstars by putting them in matches for an hour long show. There are no promos, no storylines, just wrestling for an hour and it is great to see some of the less attended talent have great matches on this show.
SmackDown is the WWE's second A-Show but it's treated like a B-Show.. All of the championships on it have been devalued at one point or another, it's given a Friday Night slot and finally, it hasn't gotten an appearance from The Rock since his return but Raw has gotten three. It's inarguably the better show though, it has wrestling matches that last longer than five minutes (Good ones too), hard workers on it, a great writer who understands how to build up stars and finally, it's not filled with bullshit promo's constantly like Raw. It evens out the wrestling and promo's, shocking I KNOW. I have always preferred SmackDown to Raw but it seems that WWE will never think of it as anything but another B-Show.
Last edited by Baal on Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
Savage Solar-Charged
Posts : 2715 Joined : 2009-12-22 Age : 32
Subject: Re: Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling. Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:08 pm
Does Knucklehead count as a show
Baal Shut Up and Jam
Posts : 26828 Joined : 2008-07-31 Age : 31
Subject: Re: Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling. Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:14 pm
Maybe in your own world.
Baal Shut Up and Jam
Posts : 26828 Joined : 2008-07-31 Age : 31
Subject: Re: Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling. Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:22 pm
THE RAW REVIEW
4/4/2011
Jesus, this show was bland for the most part, it had very little actual wrestling and was promo central. Let's get down to why it sucked and why I would rather be doing my homework than writing up this stupid shit.
- The show opened up with Triple H talking about his match with the Undertaker last Sunday. He walked down to the ring with the only notable damage he got from the match being a small bruise on his forehead, so despite getting his ass kicked to all hell last night and nearly being choked out, the only long-term damage he seemed to receive is a small bruise, right then. He proceeded to verbally fellate the Undertaker and even went so far as to say "The Undertaker kept coming and wouldn't stop!", this is notable because WWE just signed an agreement with GLAAD (The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) and this would not be the only time in the night that gay innuendo would be made. Hunter put Undertaker so over he actually looked somewhat disappointed he had to do so, probably because he's not familiar with doing it for anyone else, the dickhead. This segment was bizarre but not bad, I just wish the 10 first 10 minutes of the show wasn't spent on Hunter and someone else. Also, Triple H brought up him losing to Taker at Wrestlemania 17 during the promo and it's nice to see WWE finally acknowledging WM17 exists again.
- After the commercial break, Jerry says that there's a rumor going around that Cole is going to call him out for another match tonight. Lo and behold, out comes Cole in that same awful gear he wore the night before and talked shit about how he won at Wrestlemania like he legitimately pinned Jerry or made him tap out, where in reality it was by DQ with help from the Raw GM. Cole goads Jerry into a rematch BUT SURPRISE it's not a Wrestlemania rematch, it's a rematch from the week before Wrestlemania with Jack Swagger (Cole's Trainer) and Jerry where Jerry beat the shit out of Jack with a steel chair.
Jack Swagger vs Jerry "The King" Lawler - Singles Match
This was an alright match but it was really short. Lockup to start and Swagger takes the advantage to the corner. Lawler turns it around and Swagger is humbled. Swagger gets some corner thrusts and we go pillar to post. Swagger misses Lawler and it’s evenly matched. Swagger goes low and he suplexes Lawler to the mat. He drops his ass and it meets canvas. Cover gets two. Off the ropes, Swagger meets with a short-arm clothesline to regain control. Swagger goes for the Swagger Bomb, but he misses. Here comes Lawler rocking and jiving. Dropkick connects and he goes up the top turnbuckle. Michael Cole goes up the apron and distracts Lawler. Lawler takes off after Cole and he gets a few punches in. Swagger applies the ankle lock. Lawler taps out. Although, Swagger doesn't release the ankle lock however and the decision is reversed.
Result: Jerry "The King" Lawler b. Jack Swagger via DQ
The segment then continued as Cole and Swagger got pissed. Cole went into the Cole Mine, which had police tape on it everywhere and he found some of JR's barbecue sauce in it. Cole proceeded to flip his shit and I am quoting this here "He squirted some of JR's sauce onto him." Cole proceeded to run like hell to the back while JR slowly walked to the back to kick his ass. ...We never saw JR again for the rest of the night.
-Return from commercial and Cole is back for some reason along with Josh Matthews and Booker T on commentary. Cole proceeds to continue acting like an annoying shit and making me want him dead. Josh and Booker seem to share my sentiments as they give him death glares for the Stunners they both received last night on his account. Then another match begins.
Randy Orton & Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk & Cody Rhodes - Tag Team Match Orton takes it to Cody and he beats into the mask, making us wonder if the shots are really connecting. We take a quick break.
Commercials.
Random Commercial Thought: The BK Chicken Tenders look nugget-shaped…and they taste like crap.
We’re back and Orton drops the knee to the facemask for two. Tag to Rey and he drops the leg for another two count. Tag to Punk (Who for some reason can't seem to see he's teaming with one of the guys who assaulted him two years ago, maybe the mask hides Cody's identity that well) and he pulls Mysterio away. He takes it to Mysterio before tagging out to Cody. Rey with an inside cradle for two. Tag to Orton, but Cody is ready. We go corner to corner and Orton explodes with a clothesline for two. Orton gets distracted by Punk and that allows Cody to take control. Punk goes after the knee, but Orton powers out. Cody connects with the face mask to the knee. Tag to Punk and he stomps on the knee. GTS attempt, but Orton counters to a RKO attempt. Punk counters that with an attack on the knee. We take ANOTHER FUCKING BREAK.
Commercials.
We’re back again and Orton took Punk to a side slam. Orton breaks out of Punk’s grasp and HERE COMES MYSTERIO! Snapmare takedown, but Rey misses with the kick to the face. Punk and Cody take it to Rey, but Orton evens it up. Punk is in position, but Rey’s 619 is disconnected by Cody. Cody is back in and he takes it to Rey once more. Tag back to Punk. Rey counters the powerbomb and we get tags all around. Orton goes through his five moves of doom (Clothesline, Power Slam, Olympic Slam, Hanging DDT, RKO) …Punk gets a distraction, so Orton gets the Olympic Slam for two! Orton sends Cody to the ropes. 619 into RKO! Randy pins Cody for the victory.
Result: Randy Orton & Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk & Cody Rhodes via Pinfall
-Cut to Austin congratulating Triple H about the match with Undertaker and him walking to the ring. After commercial, Austin enters the ring and introduces us all to the cast of Tough Enough. After he introduces all of them a "Stun Them All" chant begins and I laugh hysterically. Then Miz interrupts Austin and begins to talk about how he was part of Tough Enough and how his concussion he got from last night's match did not stop him from continuing the match and retaining the title. Austin stares down Miz and Miz begins to goad Austin and then Alex Riley attacks Austin while the ring is cleared of the Tough Enough contestants and Miz. Austin begins fighting back and... well you know the rest.
Austin then begins a beer bash and takes about 30 seconds to toss all of the beers to the contestants and then he walks over to Cole with the open beers in his hands. Cole loses his shit and proceeds to yell at Austin to not come near him with the beer because the Cole Mine could electrocute him if it gets wet... never mind the fact the idiot always has a bottle of water in there. Austin then smashes his beers together pours them on Cole and tosses the cans into the Cole Mine.
I love this man. ...Anyways, another match begins after commercial.
Alberto del Rio (w/Brodus Clay) vs Evan Bourne - Singles Match
No car for Alberto and no entrance for Evan Bourne. Bell rings and Alberto goes to town on Bourne. Bourne gets in his token offense, but del Rio stops him cold. He kicks Bourne out of the ring and he gets THROWN into the barricade. Back inside, del Rio gets a cover for two. Bourne tries a comeback and he gets a rollup for two. Bourne with some kicks and he gets another two. Bourne flips up to the top rope, but del Rio gets an enzugiri and Bourne falls to the ground like a brick. Alberto goes for the cross armbreaker and Bourne taps out.
Result: Albert Del Rio b. Evan Bourne via Submission
-Wrestlemania Axxess gets a recap despite it already getting one for Smackdown.
- Vickie Guerrero comes out to bitch about how Dolph lost the match last week because of LayCool. Dolph begins to talk about how little John Morrison did in the match and that if he had any balls he would face in the ring right there and then. John Morrison comes out with Trish Stratus for a mixed tag match.
John Morrison & Trish Stratus v. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero - Mixed Tag Team Match The men start things off and Ziggler beats Morrison to the punch. Morrison takes Ziggler to the corner and he tags in Vickie, which brings in Trish Stratus. Vickie gets a cartwheel, but since she has no athetlic prowess whatsoever, you can imagine how that goes. Trish bends backwards with her touching the mat and still standing and they get face to face. Trish gets enough and she slaps Vickie. Dolph gets in and Vickie takes control. Cover gets two. Ass drop misses and Morrison gets the tag. Both him and Ziggler go balls to the wall. Flash Kick misses. Suplex connects and Trish breaks it up. Trish slaps Ziggler and Morrison connects with the Flash Kick. Starship Pain finishes.
Result: John Morrison & Trish Stratus b. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero via Pinfall
-Time for our main event match. After being shafted out of the televised card last night, they deserve nothing less than the main event of a Raw. Daniel Bryan and Sheamus have new gear that was most likely meant to debut at Wrestlemania, poor guys. Sheamus even modeled his new gear after the US colors and has stars on the kneepads, so he's adding some prestige to the title, thankfully.
United States Championship: Daniel Bryan v. Sheamus - Singles match for the U.S. Championship
Lockup and Sheamus finds himself in a keylock early on. He backs into the corner and he assumes control. Early two count for Sheamus. Sheamus sends Bryan hard into the corner. Sheamus runs the apron and he connects with a knee lift. Sheamus applies a headlock, but Bryan gets out of it. Bryan runs into a backbreaker…for two! Bryan makes his comeback with the kicks. Bryan kicks Sheamus in the face and he puts him down for two. LaBell Lock attempt on Sheamus, but Sheamus counters to a backbreaker. Brogue Kick connects and that’s all she wrote in this squash match.
Results: Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via Pinfall
Sheamus proceeds to beat on DB until SIN CARA MAKES HIS DEBUT!
Amazing.
-We head to our last segment of the night, John Cena calls out the Rock. Cena talks about how he deserved the Rock Bottom he got last night for what he did to the Rock the week before and how the Miz deserves to be WWE Champion. The Rock comes to the ring and tells Cena off. Cena then proceeds to tell Rock that they may have had a confrontation, but the people don't want to see them talk, they want to see them in a match against the other. So Rock suggests they settle it all at Wrestlemania 28 (Yes, you read that correctly) and Cena agreed. As they stared down each other, the Corre came out and proceeded to get the shit kicked out of them by Cena and Rock's finishers. This was a stupid end to the show and the Corre was already demeaned enough last night, they didn't need it more from these two.
Overall: THIS SHOW WAS FUCKING BLAND AND ONLY ONE MATCH LAST FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES! At least Sin Cara showed up.
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Subject: Re: Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling.
Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling.
Subject: Baal is a cynical douche, so let's see him bitch about Wrestling. 
Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:01 pm
