Holy hell, this Wrestlemania sucked. There were only a few good matches and everything else was crap. They had no idea what in the hell their schedule was because they advertised a certain match that wasn't fucking shown and then had to make it a dark match. I will be posting gifs too of the finishes or other stuff.
Edge vs Alberto Del Rio - World Heavyweight Championship Match - This was actually a good a match. There was a lot of stuff going on and even the managers fighting on the outside was fairly entertaining. But after Edge beat Del Rio (Which I don't understand why they had him win, but okay.) they proceed to beat the fuck out of his Rolls Royce and he breaks down crying, which is just stupid. I will also never understand why this match was the curtain jerker since it's a world title, but I'm just going to keep assuming Vince has no respect for that title and doesn't care.
Edge does a Ric Flair-esque Elbow Drop on the Rolls Royce, this was hilarious.
Cody Rhodes vs Rey Mysterio - Mask vs Mask Match - This was an average match, really solid work from both Rey and Cody, although it took too long for it to get somewhere. however the finish was amazing. There was this one bizarre spot in the match though, when Cody's going for a superplex and he just stands there with Rey's feet in the air for about 15 seconds before finally slamming him. Cody won the match which also surprised me and makes me happy because it shows Vince has confidence in Cody to be a future main eventer.
Cody holding the superplex is really funny but weird.
Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella vs The Corre - 8-Man Tag Match - This was a squash match in favor of the first team, not much to say other than Slater's face when he sold the KO Punch was hilarious. This match was still crap though considering how they hyped this match up and it ended up being a fucking squash, not even an entertaining squash.
I love Heath Slater.
Between all of this, there was also a disgusting Mae Young segment which proved she will never die no matter how much older she looks with every new appearance she makes and it ended with this.
As much shit as you're going to hear me give Wrestlemania in this thread, I have to say that I still love the WWE for stuff like this.
Randy Orton vs CM Punk - Singles Match - Okay, this match was average. Punk did most of the work and had some good spots in the match but Orton did come through for an awesome RKO in the end. I do like how Orton sold the leg throughout all of it and didn't end up punting him but that'll happen in the future most likely.
God, I may not like Orton too much but I love the RKO.
Also, this wasn't a match but I have to say, this moment was amazing. IT'S WHERE TWO ICONS COLLIDED IN AN ULTIMATE CONFRONTATION TO END THEM ALL!
- Spoiler:
YOU CAN'T SEE PEE!
Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Michael Cole w/ Jack Swagger - Special Guest Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin - This match was fucking obnoxious. It had so much potential to be good and entertaining constantly but it refused to stick with being entertaining and was just annoying. The match starts out with Cole hiding in his box, refusing to get into the ring for about 5 damn minutes, this is already bad considering that's five minutes that could've been used for the US title match they advertised. Then Jerry goes and pulls Cole out of the box after kicking the crap out of him and finally it gets good. Then Jack gets an ankle lock in while Austin had his back turned and Cole proceeds with five minutes of awful offense that is quite frankly embarrassing to watch. Jerry finally gets back up to beat up Cole, then Swagger throws a towel in trying to stop the match but Austin just wipes his face with and Austin gives a Stunner to Swagger.
Jerry then proceeds to beat up Cole more before giving him a diving fist and pinning Cole, but then Jerry pulls his head up before the three count and puts Cole in an ankle lock. Cole taps to all hell while Austin just sits there and keeps saying "DO YOU GIVE UP?" and it was just hysterical. Jerry finally gives the OK for Austin to ring the bell. Austin and Jerry proceed to have a beer bash until Booker T interrupts to celebrate too with his Spinaroonie and Austin hands him a beer and Booker takes a swig of some of the beer and Austin gives a Stunner to Booker.
Then comes the bullshit to end this match. The end all, be all of retardation and proving that an angle has overstayed its welcome. The Raw GM rings in and Josh Matthews reads his e-mail to say that since Austin pushed Cole earlier in the match that was grounds for a DQ since the ref was interfering in the match and overturns the decision so Cole won. This pisses off both Austin and Jerry to the point where Jerry throws Matthews into the ring (Who was just reading the e-mail) and Austin gives a Stunner to Matthews.
As much as I loved that there were three Stunners in one night, it is fucking ridiculous that this Dusty Finish fucking happened. Why does Cole need this win? So he can never shut the fuck up about it from now on and annoy everyone even more? Why in the hell did Vince think denying Jerry his first Wrestlemania match a victory was a good fucking idea? Well, I don't know, I'm pissed and there was 10 minutes of this shit that could've been used on the US Title Match we never got to see. Also, Austin has quite the potty mouth. At least I got some good .gifs out of it.
Undertaker vs Triple H - Streak vs Career Match (Or at least, that's how they advertised it) - I'm gonna say right now how I was not expecting this to be a good match. After HBK vs Taker last year, I did not come into this thinking it was going to better or even half as good as that. Triple H has blown both of his quads since his last Wrestlemania match with Undertaker (2001) and isn't really able to put on a decent match anymore. I can say without a doubt... I was somewhat right. This match started out well with some good bumps into the Coleminer (Cole's Box), Spanish Announcers Table and a really silly entrance from Triple H. Then it got really boring, aside from the Last Ride being used, there was a lot of fucking nothing going on in the middle of the match. Then it finally happened, Triple H got more pedigrees on Taker and then Undertaker began looking a bit pathetic. I was getting to start a riot when Undertaker began choking him Hunter just fucking no sold the choke as if Undertaker was getting weaker. Then Triple H put him in the Tombstone Piledriver and I thought that was it until Undertaker kicked out. That was when this match took a turn for the awesome, Triple then has this look of sheer terror on his face.
So let's review quickly.
I was ready to KILL when this happened.
Then this happened.
And then THIS! This was the moment Hunter realized he wasn't fighting a human being, hell yes.
So then Hunter goes for the Sledgehammer and then Taker catches him in the Hell's Gate submission hold. Hunter sits there struggling to get out and even grabs the hammer trying to swing it but he keeps slowly submitting to the hold and finally taps out.
After it was over though, it looks like Taker was injured as he was being carted out by medics.
John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi vs Dolph Ziggler and LayCool - 6-Man Mixed Tag Team Match - This was a fun little match. Trish and Michelle beat each other up for a while, Trish hit Stratusfaction, JoMo then knocked Ziggler out of the ring after he pulled Trish off of the pin on Michelle and then gave a Starship Pain to Dolph on the outside while in the ring, Trish tagged in Snooki and Snooki proceeded to do this.
Acrofatic, indeed. Anyways, Snooki then proceeded to do a splash on Michelle and pin her for the three count. It's bizarre how this followed after Taker vs Triple H but hell, this entire show's booking was largely messed up.
John Cena vs The Miz - WWE Championship Match - Oh man... this fucking match. This match was awful... the main event of a Wrestlemania, awful. Let's get this over with. Miz and John Cena come out to great video packages and fun entrances, even Alex Riley got gussied up for Mania with his diamond jacket. Then the match begins and... well, it's like the main event of a Monday Night Raw. Miz practically dominated Cena in a boring ass 15 minutes where Cena also managed to oversell every single fucking bump into a corner like he had been shot. Then Cena finally gets some offense in and Alex Riley comes with the god damned suitcase and it feels even more like a main event for a Raw at that point. Cena gets up, gives Miz a vicious AA and the match finally picks the fuck up because the challenger is now doing something. Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade then tackles him over it when MIz gets up and they both get counted out. ...Yes, you read that right. THERE WAS A COUNT OUT IN THE MAIN EVENT AT A FUCKING WRESTLEMANIA! But wait. here comes the Rock to basically restart the match as a No DQ. Cena gets his second wind, proceeds to attempt an AA on the Miz but Miz grabbed the ropes, flipped himself onto the apron and then the Rock takes his position for a Rock Bottom behind Cena... I think you know where I'm going with this.
Yes, the WWE Champion just won due to interference against a more well-established main eventer, like he did with Orton and King in the past, further diminishing his status as anything but a mid-carder with a world title. But wait, this one was at Wrestlemania too, SO THAT'S EVEN FUCKING WORSE! BUT WAIT, IT GETS EVEN BETTER!
That's right, he proceeds to get laid out by the Rock too and it's shown even more that Miz should not have this title and the real main event should've been Rock vs Cena.
And so ends a Wrestlemania that had potential but due to how annoying the more important matches became... it fell flat.
Subject: Baal Reviews Wrestling Pay-Per-Views: 3 Hours of me praying that I spent my money well. 
Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm
