SoulCalibur V

Mitsurugi - Maxi - Voldo - Ivy - Nightmare - Astaroth - Aeon
Cervantes - Raphael - Tira - Hilde - Devil Jin - ZWEI - Viola - Yoshi
Pyrrha - Pyrrha Ω - Patroklos - α Patroklos - Natsu - Xiba - Leixia

Those aren't all btw.

Patroklos Yagami is off slaying "malfested" people under some dickhole lord named Dumas' name. He gets sent off to kill more people while believing that he's looking for his sister, Pyrrha, who was apparently abducted by Tira...This is the company that has a fucking bear and a kangaroo in their fighting games, I'm not gonna question jack shit about anything.

Anyway, ZWEI stops him from killing a guy and tips him off that Dumas hasn't done shit to find Pyrrha. Light Alexandra confronts Dumas about it. Dumas is all "So what if I didn't look for her? She's prolly dead in an alley somewhere anyway." and sicks Voldo on him. Afterwards, Patty Cakes ventures off to find ZWEI, Who then leads him to his Captain, Siegfried. Who then fights Pat (Fuck it, I'm gonna call him this from now on.) to test his worthiness as Soul Calibur's next wielder ...Because he suddenly lost that after killing Nightmare in the last game. ...Again, Not questioning shit. He then sends Pat off in the general direction of "Ring Blade girl and malfestation" with ZWEI and chick #30-who gives a fuck.

Cut to dear sweet innocent OH MY GOD I JUST KILLED SOMEONE Pyrrha... Why couldn't she have been a Mute? Mute female characters are adorable. With the exception of Sis from Alpha Protocol, She's just bad-ass. lol Anyway, Tira fucks with her head by telling her about Pat and getting her hopes before she has to fight more humans. She gets a head-ache and passes out. hurr durr

Pat and crew show up nearby and Tira provokes Pat a tad by threatening to kill Pyrrha. ...Yeah, We all know it doesn't happen. She runs away and leaves Pyrrha behind for Pat to have. Getting what he wanted, He packs his shit on the spot and decides to go home with his sister. ...Yep, Sounds like a win to me. :V

On the way home, Astaroth pops up for a fight and causes a small injury to Pat's shield arm. Ivy then pops by to treat the wound and then immediately fucks off after mentioning the three treasures. Sometime shortly, Voldo shows up. Pat's arm is still fucked so Pyrrha fights him. ...This is the one point where I actually like her. ...Yes, She kills Voldo. ...Or atleast, You see his sketchly drawn self on the ground and his soul being sucked into Pyrrha's arm. So, I'm assuming he's dead or something. ...About the "sketchly drawn" comment, Actual CGI clips are few in between, The majority of the story is told in sketch book style. ...yay

The two make to town and it's in flames, Dumas is there and... Plot Twist, is actually The New Nightmare. Pat gets raped and Pyrrha goes Super Saiyan and fucks Nightmare's shit up. She then turns to Pat, who then draws his sword on her because... Who the fuck cares. Anyway, She then goes "I'm your sister, Don't you love me." and then Pat runs away all "Why is this happening to our family!?!?!?!?!?!?!". Tira shows up and Darth Pyrrha is all "I can only trust you, Tira." and then follows her.

He then trance-steps his way back to Siegfried & ZWEI, Telling ZWEI everything and then having Siegfried treat him like shit and kicking him off the bridge... Nah, j/k, Siegfried asks him to join his group for real. Pat acts a bitch again, ZWEI gets into a fight with him and straightens him out, Then Pat gets Setsuna's fighting style. /Zelda Open Chest Theme

Pat then goes to Ivy to fight her, Because what else is there to do. She then sends him off to find the other 2 treasures (Because Soul Calibur is one of the three.), And then we run into the new Kilik & Xianghua... And I hate them both. The new Taki seems alright, And Maxi is still as boss as ever. ...Why is he the only one of the four left again? I'm not complaining, Just curious (Ignoring Edge Master Kilik.). They fight, Pat gets his treasure, Ivy does her voodoo, And ...I just realized I forgot an important plot point. *gasp* k, Earlier on the game, Sophitia shows up in Pat's head to cheer him on. Well, She shows up again here to tell him to pick up his sword and, You guessed it, Kill Pyrrha. ...Oh? That wasn't your guess? Well, Too bad. That's what happens.

So then he finds Pyrrha, Fights her, Kills her, & watches as her body turns to an Icicle Display. ...And then the game ends. lololololololololol ...Oh wait, No it's not. Pat ends up in limbo with Edge Master and then Edge Master's all, "Your will is shit. Grow some balls, Bitch." and then Pat wishes to go back in time to where he made his mistake.

REWIND!

Pat gets his treasure, Ivy does her voodoo, And everything happens exactly the same as befo--oh wait, He grabbed his head. Big fucking diff--Oh shit, He said "no" to his mom. And boy is she pissed, She grounds him and leaves his ass in limbo for a week. But then he finds Edge Master again and learns that he should be wielding his sword, Not the other way around. He then tries to draw his sword and it locks up on him, He then goes "I can break these cuffs" and...does it. ...What? Don't tell me you were expecting something NOT cliche.

Anyway, We cut to Siegfried and ZWEI who have taken the battle to Dumas and his army. Siegfried covers for ZWEI and then ZWEI makes a B-Line for Dumas. Dumas goes Super Saiyan and then they fight.

..................................................At this point, I have to confess something. ...I suck as a ZWEI player. ...Literally, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I actually rage quit because at this point, Nightmare was all. "Fuck you, n00b. LRN2Combo & Parry."

But I think I can safely predict what's going to happen next. Pat saves the day and his sister, Evil fails again, & Not a single fuck was given that day.

The End