Rockstar Tries to Play Fallout 3! (SPOILERS!)

I didn't know where to put this, So I'll put it here. Since it kinda counts.

Right, So we start at birth. That's cool, Being born and what-not. Now, Right off, you get to choose whether you're a boy or a girl. ...Wait, Since when was gender a choice? ...outside of sex changes, I thought I was stuck as a guy. but anyway, I pick boy. Now we get to name ourselves. oh, Joy. I'll call myself Red Volkenstein. Oh, Joy, Now I get to......make what I look like as a grown up? What the--I was just born! God damn, Am I some kind of new born Einstein or something? Fuck! oh well, Let's get it over with. ...Yay, Now am a Caucasion male with a mohawk-ish hair style that lays down and is blood red in color. And I also have green eyes. Oh, Joy, Too bad I'll never fucking see my eyes!

Oh no, My mom's in cardiac arrest. Save her Dad! ...Hey, Where am I going?

1 YEAR LATER

oooooh, I see what's going on here. ...Geez, 1 year old and I'm already walking. That's fan-fucking-tastic. Hey, Don't lock me in the playpen! ...Dammit. -_- Well, Now to play with this red ball. Wheee!

"Press X To Open Door"



*opens door*

...Hey, Dad! You suck at keeping me cooped up! Yay, Now I get to play with my teddy bear! ...What the- A Book? I'm a year old, I can't fucking read yet! ...oh, I guess I can. ...Great, Now my stats are all set. 7 on strengh, agility, & luck. Everything else, except for charisma, 'Cause I think it's worthless, is at 5 or 6 or something, Charisma is a low 4.

(But, What a minute, Charisma is what affects the prices of your shit)

No it doesn't, Not when I'm gonna just kill everyone and take all their shit anyway.

Meh, Fuck this birthday shit...Fuck the G.O.A.T. test too, I just told the teacher to let have the answer and I'd fill it out. Now my Explosives, Small Guns, And Lockpick skills rule.

Hey, Now we're at the good part. Anata is waking me up. Cool, I was just dreaming about her.

...What the fuck?! They killed Jonas?! Those bastards, I'll kill them! ...What, You think I need that pistol? BITCH, DON'T YOU GO GIVING ME HANDOUTS! I can easily kill anybody with my Ballbat, BB Gun, & Bare fists.

Fuck, Radroaches everywhere. Haha! A guard just died. What the fuck, Butch? Asking me for help. Fuck you, Beg for my help. ...That was pathetic, But here. Take my BB Gun and save your mom your own damn self. ...Butch, You suck. ...Your mom just died. ...You just died. ...Fuck this, I'm outta here.

*fast forward*

Whoa, Anata pulled out the gun on her dad and the other cop. ...OH SHIT! ANATA JUST KILLED THE COP! XD Ah-hahahaha! Way to go, Girl! ...I better follow her. ...oh, She gives me the gun anyhow. ...That's cool, This pistol's in better shape than the one I got from the cop's on patrol.

Well, Now to get outta here. Pick this lock, Open this locker, Get all this shit...including the password for the secret door. ...convenient...But anyway, Use the password, Go through the secret passageway, Open this vault door. Hooray! oh wait, Here comes Anata. ...Fuck, She won't come with me. So much for that fantasy. >.> Well, I'm outta here. Fuck you gurads! BOOM! BOOM! You're dead, And I'm gone!

...What the--I get to change...EVERYTHING!!!! Not only my name, but my race, facial features, stats, skills, EVERYTHING!!!!

Fuck you, I'm happy as I am....except now I'll change my name to Red The Devil.

Yay, We're out...and God Damn, Is it bright! ...oh, That's better. ...Sweet, I get to upgrade my skills. ...And I get to have a perk! Alright, Lady Killer.

*after many killings and blowing up Megaton and unleashing the Ghouls into Tenpenny Tower*

HAHAHAHAHA! I'm The Fucking Pirate of The Wastes, Baby! I've got Vance's trenchcoat & flaming sword to go with my Flame Thrower, Some guy's shades, And I even have my own attack dog! Say hello to Dogmeat!

*Dogmeat bites a merchant's ass*

...........Alright, Free stuff! Good, Boy!

*Dogmeat dies*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

>.>

<.<

*reloads the game from last Auto-Save*

Dogmeat! Good, Boy!

...Whoa, Shit! I'm supposed to find my Dad!

*goes to find dad*

What the--He's not here at Galaxy News?!

...Dammit, oh well, Atleast I've got another radio station.

"Hey, Ya'll, It's Three Dog! HHOOOWWWWLLLLLLL!!!!! Yo, Time for some news! Watch out, Ya'll, The Pirate of The Wastes is out there and he's gonna kill you for your caps!"

Damn Right, Homie!

...Well, Fuck, He's way out in Rivet City. Right along the path where I lost Dogmeat the second time. ...Fuck it, If I'm gonna go out there, I'm leaving Dogmeat behind.

...But I'm not leaving him behind now. C'mon, Boy! Let's go kill everyone at Arefu! WOOHOO! Now, Let's go kill some caravan people! See ya, Doc Hoff! Goodbye, Crazy... Crazy... Fuck it, I forget, But you ARE pretty crazy for selling junk...literally. ...Aaaaawww, How cute, Dogmeat's eatting the two-headed cow.

Hooray, now let's go see if they've cleaned up the body's in Tenpenny Tower. I had a room there and I couldn't get to it, Because it wasn't safe.. >.>

*Fast Travels*



It's back to how it used to be! ...FUCK! I liked it when it was all trashed up! ...oh well, Atleast I can get into my room now. Now to go buy a theme for it.

*Buys Raider Theme*

Cool! Corpse's hung on hooks, blood everywhere, & beer, whiskey, and random weapons laid out everywhere.....oh, Look, A grenade. *YOINK!*

Well, That does it for today's gameplay, Time to save and power down.

*SAVE*


REVIEW:

Graphics: 10/10 : They are fucking nice. As expected with a PS3 game. And not just with body parts being blown of in a super gorey fashion. The evironment, The people, The weapons, Hell, Even the small itty bitty items are greatly detailed.

Story: ??/10 : I'm not really focused on the story right now, I'm just raping, pillaging, plundering, and burning everything in sight...literally. Even so that I'm now called a Reaver...whatever that is.

Gameplay: 8/10 : It's confusing at first, But once you get used it. It's pure win.

Music: Meh/10 : Oldies stuff when listening to Galaxy News, Patriotic shit when listening to Enclave "Political" Radio, and some barely noticeable music during walking, fighting, & whatever.

Replayability: 10/10 : Even knowing that Red's gonna die in the end, That just means I can replay it as some-one else and try a different approach, Maybe I'll be The Hero of The Wastes instead of The Pirate of The Wastes. XD

Total Rating: 10/10 : Great Game! Epic Game! Super Addictive Game made of Epic Win!