Sega vs Nintendo - The Anime

Gear, the hero & Sonic reference, runs to save his brother and sister, Til & Nel (Tails & Nei (Phantasy Star II)). Gear arrives in time to see Til impaled by a soldier. Gear fucks shit up and gets to hear Til's dying words "I knew you could do it, bro." ...Yes, They kill Tails within the first 10 seconds of the anime.

Insert backstory about Ninteldo (Nintendo) going to war to control all of Consume (Console ...Yeah, They even twisted the word "Console" around. XD).

Then we cut to Gear going straight to the Segua (Sega) Army to join up. Ramses (Columns the video game) decides to give him a chance by setting him up against 50 of Segua's soldiers. He beats them within a minute or something. Stuff happens, Opal (Opa-Opa from Fantasy Zone) is introduced.

Later, Opal challenges Gear to a midnight fight. The stipulation being that if she wins, Son--er, Gear goes home. If he wins, Opal will do whatever Gear wants. ...Naturally, Gear wins. He then carries her home, Tells her his sad story, and bangs her ...Seriously though, His one command is for them to fight together from now on.

Then cut to the morning after, Where everyone gets to meet Ramses' newly hired mercenary, Tejirof (Tetris). He comes in, feels up Ramses, and then proceeds to own Gear with no effort while training him. ...No, really, They made Tejirof the token pervert. He really does feel up Ramses and makes sex/masturbation jokes here and there.

Meanwhile, Marcus (Mario) & Zelig (Link) completely beat the piss out of no-name army of battleships and soldiers #2 to give a glimpse of how awesome Marcus is and how fucked of Zelig is. -_- Seriously, They made him the token psycho kill everyone guy.

Then we get to hear about the Alex Kidd character (Forgot his name), Gear repeats his promise to never run away, & other shit happens. Cue Credits.