Neo watches The Vampire Diaries - It's Mostly Not Shit, In Fact Some Parts Are Pretty Good

S01E16

Okay so I've watched a season and a half of 30 Rock since I last watched this and I've forgotten most of the character names, we'll see how this goes.
That asian vampire is helping set up some sort of hostel for newly reawakened vampires, that can't end well.
Matt really is a bro, shame his mum is such a cunt but that's the character she's played in p. much everything ever so eh.
Elena's brother proves you really can find anything on google.
Holy fuck Damon just had his eyes gouged out.
I'm starting to think Damon has a serious thing for 'older' women.
Some of the old vampires decided to go for a stroll and presumably cause trouble because they're vampires.
That's a sweet car.
Well, Jerome knows vampires are real now.
"I can't live every minute like someone is going to come after me" inb4 someone comes after her.
Pearl would be a pretty cool villain, I just have a feeling she won't become one.
Holy shit, Jerome, tone down the angst.

Rating: MILFs/10

Is that the episode where he finds out vampires exist by using Bing.

Yeah, then he cuts himself and forces Anna to drink from him before asking her to turn him.

S01E17

Not a whole lot is happening so far, a lot of exposition.
These vampires Pearl is looking after are fucking stupid, I wouldn't be surprised she ends up killing some of them herself.
Anna is much better now she's not trying to free her mum.
I hope Caroline is okay, there are serious urban legend tropes going on right now.
Damon working with Alaric is great, it should happen more often.
I was hoping for Stefan to beat up that guy a little more after Elena revived him.
Wonder what people are going to think when they see how Vicki died.
Is it bad that I found the image of Stefan crying while drinking human blood hilarious?

Rating: Comfort Food/10

S01E18

I wonder if Stefangelus is going to surface.
Oh hey, it's Sark from Alias and he's Jerome's uncle. He's going to turn out to be a vampire/hunter obviously.
Add another middle aged woman to the "people Damon has hit on" list.
Drunk Stefan is a lot less of a moralfag than he normally is, it's a refreshing change.
So yeah John's a hunter, I seriously doubt he really died just then.
Damon isn't the only one into milfs apparently, Tyler just got caught making out with Matt's mum.
And Tyler acted like he was totally in the right, there's something seriously wrong with this guy.
At this point I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Elena's real father is Sauron, this magic ring thing is getting ridiculous.
Fuck yeah Stefangelus.

Rating: One Ring to Rule Them All/10

Any more nurses?

Not yet, more's the pity.

S01E19

I wonder what John's deal is, he's obviously planning something.
Yay Bonnie is back.
Stefangelus is gonna get all the vampires caught.
A pageant, it's like I'm really watching The OC.
There's a string orchestra playing coldplay, why?
Second addiction storyline in the show so far, this time it's the old blood=drugs analogy.
Bonnie is still great, shame there wasn't a vampire fight though.
Elena sticks Stefan with a syringe full of vervain to subdue him and has Damon help her lock him in the basement cell. Time to detox?

Rating: Vampire Rehab/10